Batara Guru & Uma(rda) : Arrogance or Tolerance?

I found this interesting story about the creation of Batari Uma (a.k.a. Batari Durga), the wife of Sanghyang Manikmaya (a.k.a Batara Guru; a.k.a. Shiva). This story came from the East Java shadow puppet school. What makes it interesting? Because this is different from the mainstream story, and quite interestingly, contained transsexualism and homoeroticism. Quite a surprise eh, for such an origin story of such high gods and goddesses.

FYI, in the Javanese shadow puppet tradition, Batara Guru is the highest god, second only to Sanghyang Tunggal. Since Sanghyang Tunggal doesn’t mind human business, thus Batara Guru is often regarded as the highest in rank. He is the father of most gods.

Batari Uma, in the mainstream tradition, was a transsexual at first, but mostly into sexual ambiguity. Taking form of a very beautiful woman, but with man’s voice. After being Batara Guru’s wife, Uma was turned into a real woman. Yet, in this version, something more radical and vulgar happened.

The story started with the expansion of Prabu Jumakjujo to Suralaya (a.k.a. Heaven). He intended to rule Suralaya, thus became the ruler of gods.

Responding to this, Sanghyang Tunggal offered his children to be the next ruler of gods, under the condition of beating Prabu Jumakjujo. Surely Sanghyang Puguh (later known as Togog), Sanghyang Punggung (later known as Semar), and Sanghyang Samba (later known as Batara Guru) pledged their readiness. They were soon departing to the battlefield with the expectation of being the supreme ruler of gods.

Shortly after their departing, the twin sons of Sang Hyang Banijan from Jagat Sunya Ruri Haven came. Sang Hyang Pongat and Sang Hyang Umarda also pledged their power to defeat Prabu Jumakjujo. Within their heart, they also wished to be the next supreme ruler of the gods. Seeing their powerful might, Sanghyang Tunggal permitted them to go to battlefield.

The twin gods directly went to the battlefield, whereas Sanghyang Punggung, Sanghyang Puguh, and Sanghyang Samba had some quarrels. This led into a fight among them. The fight delayed them in reaching for the enemy.

When Sanghyang Samba finally reached Prabu Jumakjujo, he saw the fight between Sanghyang Umarda and Prabu Jumakjujo. Seeing that Sanghyang Umarda is so handsome, he deeply fell in love with him. The fight was not equal, leading to Sanghyang Umarda’s defeat. At the end of the battle, Prabu Jumakjujo threw Sanghyang Umarda away. Unfortunately, he fell right in front of Sanghyang Samba.

Sanghyang Samba was so happy seeing his lover fell in front of him. He reached Umarda, embraced him, and kissed him deeply. His lust and love had mixed, that he asked Umarda to marry him. As Umarda a man, he was very afraid. He tried to run away from Samba, flew away towards Gunung Geni (Flame Mountain).

In the pursuit of Umarda, Samba had been blinded by his beauty. Upon reaching the peak of Gunung Geni, Umarda’s cloth was opened, exposing his beautiful lap. Seeing Umarda’s lap, Samba couldn’t hold his passion anymore. He spurted his sperms on the peak of other mountains. The sperms were later transformed into 30 pairs of gods and goddesses.

In order to seize Umarda, Samba asked for additional hands. At that moment, Samba finally had 4 hands. He successfully caught Umarda and grabbed his genital, crushed it, and threw it away until transformed into vines of cloud. From the broken genital, blood was spilling everywhere. Umarda screamed as loud as he could, but nothing he could do, since Samba’s seize was so tight. Samba directly reached for Tapel Adam (kind of apple) to block the bleeding. Therefore, the blood ran to the upper side of the body, creating a swell in the chest. This swell turned into breasts. Having an opening in the genital and a pair of breasts, Umarda turned into a woman physically.

Observing Samba’s actions, Sanghyang Tunggal was very furious. He came directly to Samba and charged him. The infuriated god was so bloodcurdling, triggering Umarda’s sense of mercy. He then approached Sanghyang Tunggal and begged him to forgive Samba. Sanghyang Tunggal couldn’t do anything with Umarda’s mercy, so he turned Umarda into a real woman. Adjusting to his new condition, Umarda changed his name into Uma. Uma was later becoming Samba’s wife after Prabu Jumakjujo’s defeat.

See what is so different? In the mainstream, Uma was a tranny since birth, but in this version, Uma was a man turned into woman by force. Still from the mainstream, Samba fell in love with Uma because of his beautiful woman face and appearance. But in the East Java version, he fell in love with Umarda as a man to man. Homoeroticism, eh?

So? Well, the question is whether this happened to portray god's arrogance or in terms of permissive and tolerant behaviour. Whatever it is, the East Java area is famous for their openness and directness.

BKM? Whatever!

What does Bribery mean? Giving someone so that one will follow every will of the giver? But how does the giver assure that one will always follow his / her will?

I just read in the KOMPAS today, the polemic of BKM, a financial support for the varsity students. Most of the people in Indonesia – especially the varsity students – regard this as something like bribery, since this discourse rose shortly after the increasing fuel price. As most of us know, regarding this increasing price of fuel, varsity students were the most vocal party, kept protesting the policy. So, they saw this BKM as a mean to control them, to place them under the whip of the government. Thus, rose the motion of rejecting and refusing this financial support.

Hmm, let us analyze. Before the rising fuel price, most of the varsity students kept protesting on the expensive price of education (Then it made me wonder. They kept protesting, demonstrating, leaving their classes, wasting lots amount of money that they paid for the tuition. And their demand? Cheaper education?? Kinda ironic though if you already grasp what I was thinking then)

I am not in the position of supporting government or the students. Nope, I prefer being neutral in this case. I just wanna say, if the students are witty enough, they would take the financial support, but keep holding on to their idealism. Hell with the status of a bribe! As long as you take the money under no condition, nobody could control you.

Even if the BKM is bribery, students have to understand, the ones having full authority to control them are themselves. Free will are bestowed upon men, dude! They gave you strict rule and condition? Well, ever heard of the term, “Rules are made to break”? (Actually, that's what I held! Hehehehe!)

So? What is the conclusion? Well, seize the day dude! Seize every chance and understand that nothing perfect. There is always a hole and flaw in everything. And being treated as the educated beings, you should be able to utilize that flaw!

Myanmar and Porcupine Syndrome

Reading the recent article in Kompas about Myanmar and Nargis victims, I suddenly remember myself as well as Shinji Ikari from Shin Seiki Evangelion. Finally, Myanmar accepted the offer from other countries about the medical team and voluntary officers. United Nation sighed relieved, because they finally are able to help those poor people from Nargis typhoon (is it a typhoon, huh?)

The reason of holding the help back then was their fright of interference from the outside. They are so afraid that the outsider will disturb their so-called internal equilibrium, Moreover, they are afraid that the interference will come under the disguise of humanity. Hummmm... interesting!

History itself has proven that Myanmar has been a closed kingdom since long time ago, They are afraid of expansion from the outer factor, so they really close themselves. Even their closing is tighter than those of China. This is so reminding me of Shinji Ikari's porcupine syndrome.

In the EVA, Shinji closed himself to the outside world because he was afraid to get hurt. Like the alone porcupine who is afraid of approaching other. The others approaching the porcupine will be hurt because of its thorn, thus leaving it alone. Therefore, the porcupine exiled itself, in order to avoid getting hurt and left behind.

What is so important in this posting? Well, sometimes we are closing ourselves towards others because we are afraid that they will leave us when knowing us. Hence, we are actually afraid of ourselves.

So? Well, since Myanmar has already open itself (though not fully), so must we, dude!

English 101

This is a surprising fact that I learned during my tutorial session with kids in my neighborhood. Well, yes, finally I have this tutorial session for social reason. And it seize my three days of a week, for two groups, the junior high school and the elementary school.

The lesson that I mentioned earlier came from the Junior High School group. Uh, IMHO, I like teaching the elementary students better, probably because of their flexible cerebral plasticity (well, this is a term from psycholinguistic, referring to children's ability to learn something faster). There was this problem in the first group pace of learning. They are WAY SO SLOW! (Can you imagine, students of 2nd grade in Junior High who don't understand pronoun at all????)

However, a more surprising fact came out. When I was seeing their module, I was very very ultimately entirely shocked! So many mistakes in their modules, be it the module from their own teacher or the worksheet. So, I decided to ask them, who made the module. And they said that their own teacher made it.

How bad was the module? Okay, this is one example, from the form of telephone note.

From :
For :
Phone number :
Time :
Massage :

See the mistake? Yup, the massage word. At first, I thought it was a typo. But seeing the other forms, I realized that it was not a typo!!!! It was intentionally written like that! WHAT????

Even the teacher was still confused in differentiating noun, adjective, and adverb. See this sentence, “People in Yogyakarta are famous for their politeness, friendly, and kind!”

What was so wrong? Yup, class of word confusion. Politeness is noun, and friendly is adjective! And the word before politeness is possessive pronoun, thus it was supposed to be followed by noun. It should be “People in Yogyakarta are famous for their politeness, FRIENDLINESS, and KINDNESS!”

Aaaargh!!!! What will become of Indonesian education????

The Final Battle of SEDC??

As Prof. Diggory from The Chonicles of Narnia said, “I am fortunate enough to be able to see the dawn and creation of Narnia. I never thought that I can live long enough to see its dusk and destruction!” Yes, the feeling he shared with me.

This is still about the SEDC (Smada English Debating Society). As stated in my previous post, I decided to resign and make this year as my last training year there. Ika has pledged her loyalty to replace me next year, though this year she already taught. Well, call it probation moment.

However, one thing that I miscalculated was the fact that she doesn't change her mentality, that she doesn't grow up. Her temperament IS still the biggest problem ever. This is added with her ambition to repeat SEDC's achievement in her era. Thus, it really contradicts the basic nature of SEDC, that we are debating for fun, enjoying the process.

The initial problem came along with the conflict with Pak Her. Well, this conflict has actually initiated when she was still in senior high. However, she forgot that Pak Her is the founder as well as the greatest supporter for SEDC. Without him, there can't be any SEDC. But she refused to have any kind of communication with him. D'oh!

The next problem was her conflict with Dio's team. Dio, Lis, and Yog. Yog never really came to practice, and this made Ika really angry. She thought that Yog had underestimated her. She refused to see that Yog rarely came to school as well, due to his career as tennis athlete. This, in turn, caused the friction among these people, the banning of Dio's team by Ika.

Surely, Dio cs was very angry. They decided to stand independently, not under SEDC (or more precisely, not under Ika). They got their support from the teachers. And when I knew this, I started to think that this might trigger SEDC self-destruction from within. My fault, leaving most of the authority in Ika's hand.

Well, in the end, they tried to go into the competition and lost. After that, I received message, they decided to resign from the whole debating world. They said sorry for all of this, but these three couldn't take Ika as their mentor anymore. The team actually asked me to retake and reassume the position, but for many reason, I just can't.

Recently, just few days ago, Ika texted me.She said that she had enough with the junior. They are quite hard to join the competition. She said to me all in capital, that SHE IS SICK WITH THEM! Meaning, she had enough of them?? What????

Well, I've seen the birth and the dawn of SEDC, been nurturing it ever since the birth, seeing their climax, achieving the first winner of Provincial Competition, seeing them went into ALSA. And now, together with my resignation, I will see its last glory?

Duh, I really want someone capable enough to continue this legacy of mine. To continue their glory. Don't let SEDC fall apart, God!

Go, Nana, Go!

I called her Nana, though it has been 9 years since I last met her. But everytime there was news in the paper about Indonesian badminton, I often read her name, her complete name, Fransiska Ratnasari. Yes, the member of this year Uber team, though only served as benched player.

I met her during my junior high. For only 4 month, she was in the same class with me. Fransiska Ratnasari Harisaputra, tomboy and strong girl, even stronger than most guys in my class. Scary, though. And when she decided to move to Jakarta to join Pelatnas, we let her go with pride within us. I myself was so sure that she would be famous and great someday. And that I was in the same class with her, knew her (well, what is the relation anyway????).

I was waiting for her news, year by year, until I finally read the news 4 years ago that she was in the Uber Team. Yes! My prediction was right! She made it.

This year, I specially looked for her name in the article about Thomas-Uber. She should be there, and she would probably play! Yes, her name was there, but not as the main player, rather as the alternative player in the third single, the alternative for Pia Zebaidah. Ouch, I wanna see her play! When she carries the name of Indonesia in her shoulder, when she can prove that Indonesia is still as powerful as ever. (Well, at least we need to prove the world that Indonesia is still powerful in BADMINTON! That there is at least a thing to consider and proud of from this country!)

Ah, even Mom looked for article about her. When she heard that Uber team made it to final, she said to Dad, "Sure, Doel's friend played!" Hahahahaha, so even my mom support Nana! Well, who doesn't support Indonesian team anyway?

However, I saw her face in today's paper. She looked so happy, being a member of Indonesian Uber Team, upon reaching the final, though she is constantly benched. Na, your time is yet to come! Show the world your fangs!

You have a great deal of chances to bring back nationalism to the whole Indonesia! For you show your strength for Indonesia... Remember your fight during Piala Sudirman, Na!

Go Nana, Go!

Matchmaking? Oh, come on!

EAD 2008 ended last Sunday (11/05) with my brother being the third winner of Writing Contest. Wew, so very proud of him, since I was the judge for story telling contest. Hahahaha! However, there was some story left behind, waiting to be told.

This story is about Cha. Well, she was also involved in the EAD as the judge of Speech Contest in the first day. Well, since she was already like my fag-hag, so we keep going together, fooled around together on that day. Even at the midday, when lunch came, I asked my bro to have lunch with us. Unfortunately, when we were walking, he was stopped by his school friends who said that the school will treat him lunch. So he left with his friends, leaving us. Nothing happened though. He already knew my “status” with Cha, which is only a friend. So we went to Jo, spent time there, chatted with Jod, and ordered cold beverage (chocolate shake with choco chips and god-forsaken-cheese) for that dear-and-loving brother of mine. Sure things, after we finished, we gave the drink to him. He was with his friends.

Suddenly, he said to me, “Hey, I know where was Cha. She was the judge for speech contest, wasn't she?”

I responded lightly with a question, “So you saw her judging?”

He answered, “No. But my friend said to me that my brother's girlfriend was the judge in speech contest!” BURP!!! I was so shocked and starting to laugh. WHAT? Another misconception! Another fool was thinking that we are a couple? Gosh, this is not the first time, been four years. Some even called Cha my first wife. Wadaw!

Yes, we did fool around, going here and there together, have lunch together, but most of the time, I wasn't with her only. Mit and Ri often accompanied us. Sometime Yo joined up. I knew her deep and long enough, enough to decide that I am not going to be her boyfriend. We are happy with our current status, freaky single, the founder of single club. (Ooops, sorry Mit. From your perspective, we were taken. Hehehehehe!) For those have the misconception about my relationship with Cha, let me emphasize, I have no feeling towards her. At least, not yet (and I hope never..... Duh!) What is so wrong with guy fooled around with his friend who is a girl? Where is the concept of friendship???

Need to put the blame? Well, I will certainly blame the role of television which keeps broadcasting the God-forsaken-rubbish-super-complicated-teenage-love-drama! They carried within themselves a concept that two person from the opposite sex who go together is always a couple, girlfriend and boyfriend. Ouch! Carry the dogma that being in a relationship is a must, and if you never have any relationship, then you are an outcast of this world. Against that, I'll certainly say, HELL WITH THAT!!!!!! STUPID CONCEPT!

According to that concept, then I'll be one of the biggest fools ever in the world, since I've been single for almost 22 years!!!! Yeah, almost my whole life. But hey, which fool is able to publish books? Which fool is able to gain good GPA???

Then, WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH BEING SINGLE?????????????

Okay, come back to the main focus. Oh come on, can those people see the concept of equal friendship? Please please please, open your eyes widely and see that there is something called friendship between sexes. And trust me, this is more meaningful than your so-called-shallow-love-or-lust-but-a-must-have-though-no-formal-rule-said-so relationship. Oh, come one dude. Grow up! Welcome to the real world!

In the end? Cha is only my friend! Nothing more. (Though I called her yang – short for eyang – and she called me say – short for sayton!) Hehehehe!

Cheating Teacher?? Duh!

Reading the articles about cheat conducted in UN by some TEACHERS, I was so shocked. Being a teacher-candidate myself, I would certainly never thought of doing such thing, of facilitating my students to cheat. That is so not me (who was a big fat cheater myself...... Duh!). Hey, since I know how to cheat myself, I am familiar with many cheating techniques. Thus, I know how to catch the cheater in my class red handed!

Dude, I didn’t blame the students who cheat in UN (been there, done that!), as long as they are good enough so that no one know, that’s their own problem. I was student myself, and I cheated, and no teacher knows……. That’s just my own justification, though. Being one, my principle was “The rules are made to break!” The stricter the rule, the better I was in breaking it.

But this is a special case. The cheaters are not the students, but the teachers! God, they are supposed to set example for their students. They are supposed to be the good guy in the whole story. But now?? They cheated!

Yeah, it is supposed to be some kind of ironic stories within Indonesian education. The ones that should help and facilitate this nation to go to the good way don’t set any example. They took the wrong turn. The question is WHY?

According to some newspaper, these teachers did that out of their fright. They are afraid that the students would never graduate. WTF! Yes, UN in some extent is a flaw within the whole system. But by cheating for the students, it makes a bigger flaw in the system. It already deviates the aim of the education far from the original source. In fact, it is not educating at all.

Have they heard the phrase, “Learning through mistake”???? That life is not always smooth, that failure is inevitable in every single aspect of life. Even further, the Murphy Law, something that can go wrong will always go wrong! And through the failure, the betterment would be achieved! Because what is important in the process of teaching-learning is not the final result, but the process of doing so. And if the process is correct, then what is learnt will be stored deep within the mind, thus can be recalled any time. The opposite, if the process is wrong, then what happened is only the memorization on the outer layer of the brain, easily forgotten. (DAMMIT, why can’t most Indonesian understand this???????)

Related to what had happened last year, the case of young teachers who are exiled and discriminated only because they reported the cheating in the UN, it really is the biggest irony in the education. They were seen as the wrong party, since their number is smaller than those supporting cheating.

Came question, why can these teachers support the cheater? What kind of mental are they having? Aren’t they supposed to have good mentality? Ummm, wrong dude! Since years ago, being a teacher is not a first choice, so that most students in teacher training faculty are not those damn smart. And so that their mentality. It might also be that they have the cheater mentality as well. Uurgh!

I didn’t mean to support government’s UN or the party that sees UN as some kind of flaw. Both are wrong! (Beside, truth is relative in this world, dude!) I just need to pour what I am thinking! That’s all, thanks!

Solveig's Wait

Solveig saw the sky. It was clear, with no cloud around. The sun shone dimly, for it was already dusk. The twilight drew near. She sighed slowly. All she saw are clouds, the thick clouds within her heart. It sometime drove her into doubt, the doubt of her choice, of her decision, of the path that she had walked all her life.

“Another day will soon pass, yet I haven’t been able to divert my sight!” whispered she into the wind. But the wind said nothing in return. It kept going, flowing down to the valley, carrying Solveig’s sight to the shadow of her past. The valley, the village. The place she used to belong. The place where they buried her parents. She left it, chose to exile herself in the mountain, in the name of love.

“Ah, Peer, I yell at your name every night. Even after all this years, your scent still lingers within me. My whole body still recall your gentle embrace bestowed upon me. Hitherto, you left under the reason to see the world,” whispered her again. Her grey hair was touched by the gentle wind. Moving around her cheek, as if wanted to cheer that old lady up.

She recalled the event from eons ago, when Peer kidnapped the bridge. When Peer met her for the first time, when she fell for that deep eye, despite her parents’ discrepancy. When she decided to chase him, telling him that his beloved mother passed away. When Peer asked him to move in for the first time. When the desire was too strong to bear, that she finally ran to Peer, felt the freedom for the first time. What did she say? “Ah, Peer. I am free here. I can breathe easily here. Unlike in the crowded village down there!”

She lived here with Peer for some moments. Till one day, Peer came home with an extremely pale face. He told her that he needed to go away from here. To see the whole world, to explore the unexplored. Nothing else. But Solveig could see the spark of love in those eyes. That the real reason to leave her is out of love. She could see the pain in those eyes. A pain to leave Solveig alone. At that very moment, Solveig understood that he had to leave, in order to protect her.

The daughter of the mountain king. The ugly troll dwelt underneath the mountain. His daughter was so crazy about Peer that she wanted to kill Solveig. To replace her position in Peer’s heart. The evil spell that would make her beautiful again once Solveig died. By Peer’s depart, the troll would never lay hand on Solveig, for there was no more man to have.

The owl croaked already. Solveig raised her body. She was tired. Ages had sapped her physical strength. For one last moment, she laid a sight to the valley. And she stood up in bewilderment. Her heart seemed to stop beating. A familiar figure drew near. No, it was not that familiar, different. So different from the last time Solveig saw him, but her heart knew it was him. It was Peer.

She had no more strength, but Solveig tried to approach him. His hair was as grey as the ashes, wrinkle all over that tired face. He kept trying to come to Solveig. Seeing her, he increased his pace.

Right under the pine tree, Peer laid his head on Solveig’s lap. Calmly, she caressed his hair. So old, so tired. His age had consumed his strength; his adventure had worn him out; the journey had eradicated his vigour away. The only life force of Peer was emitted through his eyes. Still as blue and as deep as ever.

“I’m finally home, Solveig dear. Please, forgive me for leaving you here all alone!”

“Ssssh,” Solveigh touched his lips. “Save your energy, dear!”

Peer held his wife’s palm. “Solveig, where have I been all this time?”

Gently Solveig embraced him. “You’re never going anywhere, Peer. You are always in my faith, in my hope, and in my prayer!”

Peer smiled at her. And the rising moonlight shone his remnant. His last smile had taken away all that is left. He finally knew where he was all this time.

Solveig sighed again. “Ah, Peer. Now you finally know your home!” And a teardrop rolled on her cheek, whilst the stars started to sparkle in the sky. The black calming blanket of the night covered those two in a warm cocoon. Meanwhile, one of the brightest stars started its journey falling across the sky.

(Disclaimer : Peer Gynt and Solveig are character from Normandy folktales. It has been adapted into opera by Henrik Ibsen.)

Service, again Service!

I just had a bad experience this morning. Well, since this is monday, I had to teach in Paingan at 7.30. Again, I blew up my preparation by forget making copies for today's material. Thank goodness there was copy centre opened early in the morning near Paingan. (Well, I did copy the previous material here, so I know that this copy centre opened early. Hehehehe!)

My watch showed 7.20. 10 more minutes before my class started. It was so not funny if I came late, for I keep reminding the students not to come late.

"Mbak!" I called her. She glanced at me, and continued dusting around. (F**k! Did she know that I am the customer? That I need to copy my material ASAP?????) WHAT???? Come on, please serve me, gal!

Still with my patient face, "Mbak, I need to make a copy of it!" (Note: automatically translated into English!) She stopped for a minute. Thank GOD, I thought. But wew, she continued her dusting. WTF!!!! Aaargh!

Since I am a nice person, I waited her (and since there's no other choice..... I needed to get the copies as soon as possible). Good, finally she stopped dusting and approached me. Finally! However, she stopped in the drawer in front of me, AND STARTED FIXING THE DRAWER! WHAT?? (Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale...........)

"Mbak, I need to copy these six pages!"

She nodded and took my book. I gave her sign that I need to get two pages from the book in a piece of paper. Again, she nodded.

You can imagine how surprised I was when seeing that she made a copy of the book a page in a piece! OMG, it would certainly doubled the rate! If I would do that, I would not copy the last page, dude! I corrected her, and she said innocently, "It's done already!"

AAAAARRRRGH!!!!!

When the copies were done (7 copies), she asked me, "You want to clip them?" WHAT?? What a silly question! It was 6 pages each, and without any clipping, how could I distribute it? "Sure things, mbak!" Though I said in my mind, "Need to ask that, dumbass? What are you? An old hag?"

She set the copies and quickly clipped them. "3000!" she said. I paid her and she left already, leaving me with only a pile of paper, with no plastic to carry them. FYI, she went to the back room. Ouch!

I was so very extremely upset! "Can I have a plastic to carry this?" I asked her. She didn't notice my tone, and gave me the plastic without any expression, any words, and such. What a shame?

Copy center should be one of the service business, providing and selling a service. Meaning? They have to treat every of their customers well, so that there will be a satisfaction and ensure the customer to come back again. But from what I saw, from what I've been observing all this time, all that people care in Indonesia is not the sustainability, but the money coming at the first time, They never care that the money which come later is far greater than the first time.

Ah, service business. They should've attend Bu Lani's course, Service Program Design and made "How To Start A Service Business" as their guidebook........

My Ironic Crush

I saw her sitting in the T-Junction. Wew, I never thought that she grew into that kind of lady. Her character is stronger than before, overcoming lady used to overshadow her. The day before, when I had this conversation with her, I was so impressed with the way she talk, with the way she treated people. Wew, so different than before.

I have to admit that again I had another crush. And again, she is not that beautiful. But who said that I look for a beautiful lady to be my beau? I am looking for a smart and independent lady, and most of the time too independent that she needed no man. Duh! This time, it felt right. She looked smart, independent, and tough. At the same time, she is not over-feminine. Just the exact dosage of progesterone.

But, there are things I cannot avoid, and things I cannot deny. The fact that I become so silence when facing a lady, especially when I have a feeling towards the lady. Ouch. Thousand cats bit my tongue every time I want to have this kind of conversation, private one. I was trying so hard to be able to speak, having a normal conversation, just like when I was chatting with my comrades.

Suddenly, when I was thinking about my next step, the bell rang. WHAT?? WHO??? WHERE??? And I saw him sitting there, near her. The annoying senior who chases me! OUCH! Don't let him see me, God! I keep praying for that. Gosh, I am so not into him.

Time passed, and I still hadn't said any word to her. I decided to come home. On my way, my cell rang, somebody texted me. When I open it, I swore, DAMMIT! He texted me, “Ya oloh, aku dah berdoa biar bisa ketemu kamu. Eh, nggak taunya tadi aku dapet kesempatan duduk deket kamu. Baru sadar lo waktu kamu pergi”

AAARGH!!!!!!! Not even a word to her, but words from him. Duh! What the hell were You thinking, GOD????

Gaydar????

Okay, I will explain it first to those not knowing gaydar. This is some kind of a device, but it is innate. Most probably, this is equal to the LAD (Language Acquisition Device) naturally implanted within us.. However, not everyone possess this “natural” device. Only some chosen (or mutated) being have it. Me? I have to admit that I am some kind of a mutant. Hehehehe!

What is the use of this gaydar???? Well, as the name suggested, this is a radar to locate gay (and also bisexual).

Then, what is so wrong with that?

Umm, I'd like to say that being gifted with such amazing natural radar is also similar to being a mutant in Marvel Universe. Why? This can be a precious gift, but in some cases, this can also be a curse. You can easily tell which one is gay, which one is bisexual, and which one is so damn straight. Of course, since nothing perfect in the world, the accuracy level is only between 80-90 %. (Hehehehe, that is high enough, dude!)

Why curse? Because you can be freaked out knowing that we are surrounded by many cong. In my case, I am surprised most of the time knowing the number of closeted cong laying their eyes on me. Most people with no gaydar would certainly think nothing, but those with gaydar will certainly know what happened. Wew!

My friend know this ability of mine. And GOD DAMN IT, they often asked me about several people. Well, mostly Cha and Ri ask me whether a cute guy that they like is straight or not. (I think I have to start ask for money to them, for giving them the consultation. Like Bu Lani said, nothing gratis in this world. Wakakakakakakakakaka!) But, the coin will always have two sides. I am most certainly freaked out when finding that my most favorite lecturer generate the signal that ring my bell. WHAT THE F**K!!!! Ouch!(FYI, I have this one friend who also possess gaydar, and her bell also rang towards this lecturer. So, this is not my own prejudice though!)

Yes, at some times, I just wish this dar shut, leaving me in peace of not knowing someone's concealed identity. But at some times, it is also fun to do things (*grinning and glancing at passing people). Thanks to Cha and Ri, who keep asking me, this dar gets stronger. Not only being able to distinguished upon gay, bisexual, and straight, I am now able to distinguished top, bottom, and versatile (accuracy not guaranteed, hehehehe!)

Those two girls often asked me hanging out at Ambarukmo Plaza, watching people passed by us. Then we were practicing our gaydar and bitchdar (ak.a. telling how bitch a woman is). So? Yes, we are so sick ^_^; Meaning everybody passed us at Amplaz will certainly have their score.... Duh!

Ri : Hey, what about this cute guy?
Me : Obvious! Bottom!
Cha : The one standing there, with yellow polo?
Me : Good news, he's so damn straight.
Mit : Okay, that one? Walking together with the veiled woman?
Me : Ummm, I'd say denial. Trying so hard to deny his gayness.
(sexy lass passed us)
Me : Cha, that lady?
Ri, Mit, and Cha : BITCH!!!!
Me : Ouch. The lady over there?
Cha : Need to ask? Sluttish!
Dan : Okay, these couples?
Mit : Obvious, dude!
Dan : Who's pitching, and who's catching?
Ri : Ummm, the fair one is the catcher, right?
Me : Yup!
Dan & Me : Those ladies over there?
Mit : Bitch!
Cha : Bitch? She's slut!
(and the story of sick peoples continued............)

Lysistrata : Feminism

Fulfilling my promise in previous post on the elaboration of woman’s inner strength, then this article would be it.

Now, let us see the basic premise of the previous article, upon the sentence that woman is way stronger than man. Well, it is surely not in the physical strength, for we can’t expect a lady able to lift weight equal to those muscular hunks. The strength of woman lies within her soul. That woman will be able to survive much longer than man under any pressure.

And why is it? Well, as I stated in my previous post, man is way stronger in the surface, thus outcome woman in many aspects. However, most people ignore the fact that every woman is constantly faced to pain every month for most of their life span. This can be very excruciating, and there is no way to run from it. And in that pain, they are still working and keep trying to function normaly. This constant pain, will in turn prepare the woman for bigger torture, delivering the baby. Most people would say that this is the hardest trial most women will have to undergo. Without strength, it is impossible for any being to pass it. The pain itself can last for hours or even days.

That was the physical point of view. From the psychological point of view, we can also see that the “old” status of second-class being, in their own extend contributed to forge the spirit and power of women. Being treated almost like a dirt, their survival instinct is trained even better than most men, who is treated like the ruler of the world. This pressure also helps them to strengthen the mental. They tried so hard to keep survive under these kind of conditions. Yet, these “dirts” keep giving and pouring the heart and soul to nurture new life.

All the pressure, all the torture, all the pains, create a spring-like condition for these women. And like spring, the harder the pressure, the stronger the potential energy stored within. The harder the trial, challenge, and pain, the stronger woman’s power deep within her soul. Again, like spring, this is potential energy, which will raise only in an emergency. When men have already fallen, then this hidden force will manifest, as the last safety knop. Woman will be the last one survived, even when the strength of the man has been all drained up.

However, the power of woman is not at all coming from the pain and torture. There is this aspect called love. A hidden power stored to protect her children. If you have already read Harry Potter series, you will find a very distinguished example, Lily’s protection spell towards Harry.

A mother will give away her own soul if necessary to protect the offspring, force driven by the power of love. Most of the times, woman will prioritize her children’s safety over her own. And to achieve this, she will be able to try doing anything.

Thus man have nothing to fight against Lysistrata’s wit. Man is a being of passion and lust, while woman are able to bear it. (And that explain why most men can’t survive when the wife dies first, but woman will be able to survive even after her husband dies first).

And in the end? Well, Lysistrata brought about peace to the land of Greek! End of the story! Hehehehehe!

Lysistrata Mocking Dance

Okay, today I suddenly have this strong desire to look back on what happened a year ago. Lysistrata! The play performed by my class. Since I love all the songs and dance there (I wrote the lyrics for some of the songs, hehehehe!), I uploaded several videos of the dance. And what I love most is the mocking dance, the fight between males and females.

However, let us see the quarrel between these two. If I asked this question of power, who is the strongest? Male or female?

IMHO, the female is the strongest within, whereas male only look strong outside. Yet, the true power is possesed deep within woman's heart. Deep within their souls, lies beyond the pain and torture. And the simplest proof is their strength to carry baby for 9 months, their strength to overcome the pain of giving birth. It reflects their adaptability and adjustability to most of the pain and sorrow, for those are just easier than the process of pregnancy.

I'll write further elaboration next time. This time, just enjoy the video!!