Sunday, March 15, 2009

Aura Kasih and The Myth of Beauty

I happened to stumble on To's status in facebook. He had this status polling, asking who likes Aura Kasih and who doesn't. Out of curiosity, I gave comment, answering that I never really like her. She is just too bitchy. Apparently, On gave also a comment on that topic. He said that every guy who doesn't like Aura Kasih, especially her sexy body, is not normal.

JLEB! Hey, hey, hey, there must be something wrong here. Or was it me who is abnormal? For me, the impression of being bitchy beat the sexiness out of her. I mean, yes she might be a sexy girl, for being able to be an artist. But she never stroke me in the eye, not even in heart.

Suddenly, I remembered the discussion in the night before with Gin about the myth of beauty. Yeah, the hegemony over how woman should be, about an ideal woman. And apparently, I can be seen as an outsider from the myth's perspective. And being an outsider, being different from the "common norm" will automatically place us as an exile. The Others, borrowing the term from Gayatri Spivak.

Consciously, or unconsciously, people nowadays has accepted the imported version of this myth. They developed some kinds of fetishes towards woman body. And an interesting fact that people seemed to forget came from one of the oldest civilization in earth, China Empire. They had Four Classical Beauties. One of them was Yang Guifeng. Interestingly, Yang Guifeng never possessed a slim and slender shape. She was a bit overweight and stocky instead. But hey, people considered her as the classical beauty.

So came again the classical motion for a debate, what is a beauty? The most neutral answer would be; it's a relative matter. But if it is relative, how could there be the common and uncommon? Normal and abnormal? How could it be that considering Aura Kasih sexy and admiring her is normal while not admiring her means you are not a normal guy?

I happened to admire some girls who are not considered sexy by many people, yet for me they are still okay. Contrary to most of the guys who like big bo***es, I like the small one, the cherry one, but not the "flat" one (got to admit that this might be an influence from my lineage though). In some other cases, even Mit said that And is not beautiful, thus she wondered why could I be crazy about And. Or what about Faj who considered Macy Gray hot, who considered Waris Diri as the sexiest model?

So, to the guys who do not think that Aura Kasih is beautiful, do not worry, pals. You are still as normal as a guy can be, since beauty is a relative thing. This proved one thing, especially to On, there is no normal or abnormal thing in beauty!

PS : Since this note has stirred some misleading opinions, let me emphasize here that Aura Kasih is just the illustration. What I want to discuss is not her, all the gossip, and being judgmental. The main point here is the social construct that has become a hegemony over perspective and thus eliminating the individual opinion. That's all.... Hell with the artist!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Bullied who becomes a teacher

Bullying is a common case happened here and there in the school environment. However, only recently does this phenomenon become a global concern. Well, forgive me if it has been discussed widespread since long time ago, but for me, bullying has been unearthed only this several years.

Well, most people said that bullying gave bad impact for the children. That's true! They mentioned many things to stop bullying, to prevent bullying from happening over and over again. Yet, everything is just stopped in their own mouth. Some said that the teachers should participate in eliminating bullying from school. Some teachers even said that they tried their best to get rid of bullying from the education field. N.A.T.O..... No Action, Talk Only! Yet, we cannot deny that there are some teachers trying to focus on their attention to the bully. Trying to stop them from bullying others.

Uh, I'm not saying that those actions are all wrong. But the problem is, they don't really know how the mechanism of bullying is. Nope, they placed themselves as a higher authority, thus trying to use the position to stop that. Ummm, that's not how it works, dude!

To be honest, I know only a little theory on bullying. But in my teaching activity, I'm always trying to pay more attention to the bullied and marginalized students. Well, departed from my own experience as a student, I know how does it feel to be alienated and bullied. Yes, I'm standing here as the ex-bullied. In fact, I've been bullied until my graduation from Junior High School.

When I started teaching, I recalled those feelings of being bullied, of being alienated just because I was different then (I'm still being different until now, though!). I decided not to let others feel the same way I felt. Fortunately (or unfortunately), the chance for practicing that came right under my nose. One of my students back then was a big bullied. Marginalized and alienated by many others, including most teachers. GAWK! That certainly was no good...... (Having no friend is still far more okay than being alienated by your teachers - or parents!)

I gave him chances to do things, trusted him, and approached him personally. It worked! He gained his confidence. At the same time, I tried to approach his friends, convinced them that disliking him is okay, but alienating and bullying are NOT OKAY.

Another memorable experience also came when I handled Matriculation program for Mimika students. Got to admit that they were hard to handle. One of them was VERY BAD in studying (ummmm, another word for ST***D!). Hated by most instructors, destabilizing the class, and never showed seriousness in learning. Most had given up on him. I started implementing the same strategy. Helping him personally, approached him, and gave him the chance to participate in the class. It worked, dude. For the first time, he bid me his thanks.

So, for the teachers out there who have never tasted the bitterness of being bullied, here's a quick suggestion for y'all. Help the bullied regaining their confidence, please. It means a lot for them, showing them that someone is still paying them attention, that they are not alone. In some cases, it will even give them strength to break free from the bullying. When one is hardly bullied, one will think that no one cares. So, show them that you care for them!

Do not know how to recognize bullied? Well, they are usually the one kept silent in the class and ignored most of the time.

Good luck, and if many teachers do this, we can eliminate bullying together!!!!

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

My Eulogy for SEDC (I'm Really Leaving)

Last Saturday (28/02), I went to a farewell lunch together with my fellow juniors in SEDC. Well, actually they were my trainees, since I was the trainer of SEDC. However, we've grown closer, that no distance was among us.

That was really a farewell lunch, for that day was my last meeting before I officially resigned from SMA 2. Well, it might be a weird decision, resigning before the academic year ended. But a new teacher who really wanted to be a hero had annoyed the hell out of me. She even asked me to resign as soon as possible. So, why shouldn't I? In fact, she's one hell of impolite teacher. Shouted in the common room like a person from the jungle.

Hearing my decision to resign, most of the juniors regretted that. They said that they would lose not only a trainer, but also a brother. Some teachers indeed cried. Well, I couldn't help but feeling sad too deep within me.

I realized, my teaching there for almost five years has formed my way of teaching until now. I approached them not only as a trainer, but also as a brother. As a friend. That way, I could win their trust over me. And yea, sometimes they shared their problem with me. I really enjoyed it. And what I considered as my biggest achievement was not the 1st place in the Province level Debating Championship, but one of my juniors who had many problems made it until graduation.

Now, if I am allowed, I'm going to mention how proud I am to every one of you. Yes, I'm proud of Arum, who made it into success in her campus activity. I'm proud of Dharma Birawa, my calm and intelligent speaker. Faza Kautsarina, for being a superior "chicken little", Fika for being able to progress from one hell of an underrated 1st speaker to winning the Province level Debating Championship. Melinda, the one made it into Diajeng Jogja and still remember me. Ruthe, for developing her best, from the late comer into winning the very first trophy for SMA 2 at English Jambore. Linda, for being the speaker who never gave up. Ahmad Firdaus, for being the one showing me how to be a really good teacher, reminding me what an ideal teacher is, and teaching me that trainer should not be only a trainer.

In the next generation, I would also like to express my pride to Rani, Dici, and Erlin. They were the successful substitute team. Nothing left from the original team, and we had to build a new team from the scratch in the second semester. Yet, they managed to win some competition. Demi, for being one hell of intelligent supporter for the team, though he went to the competition only once. Leo and Rosa, for going to UMY competition and shared the joy of debating.

My third generation includes Dio Alief, the spiritful debater ever. He showed me his growth and development. Though never win any competition, he was the spirit of the team, with his enthusiasm and spirit. From being a very polite speaker to being a rapper in the debate. Yogis, for giving a new atmosphere and different sense to the SEDC debating world. Listya, the one showing her development over time. At first, she was a bit shy, but then she managed to be the lioness of the team. I admit her guts, for she was able to make decisive action together with Dio in the later time. You really cannot see it from the way she was in the first time. Mutia, the versatile speaker, who unfortunately tasted the sweetness of debating battlefield only once. But she's in United States now, together with Yustia. Hani, the one with a good observation skill and thus capable of being a good adjudicator.

The fourth generation brought with themselves, again, a different atmosphere. Cheerful and relaxed. Aditya Herlambang, the rude speaker who changed for the better into a spiritful speaker. Aulia Recky, the fast thinker who maintained the harsh side of the team. Eka, though short, he contributed to the team dynamic, and made a solid team. The other team, Olla, Yanti, and Puput also grew. They started as a team which zero winning streak in the first competition. But they outgrew the other team as the strongest team in the generation. Olla as the first speaker, with her "tukang becak" thingy, Yanti as the second speaker who was able to provide calmer atmosphere of thinking, and Puput, as the destroyer. You really cannot see how brutal Puput was in the debate from her daily behavior. Mayang, the debater as well as a manager for the whole debating club. She and Yuda, the ex-captain of OSIS, provided more administrative support for the SEDC, thus we had access on almost everything we need. Juno and Dias, the late-bloomers, but managed to reach the unexpected. Yes, they were debating for fun, with no ambition. Yet they managed to reach the semifinal at SMA 8 Debating Championship. The Dark Horse team, completed with Asvin, another late-bloomer. He was between Juno and Diaz in term of craziness. Wow, this generation is the biggest in number.......

Ah, what a memory... I've spent almost five years of my life teaching them debate and some life values. If I could, I don't want to leave them now. But all is said and done. I have no regret, since in fact, those are beautiful five years.

PS : Since I am so kind, I gave that annoying teacher a last gift, the book entitled "The Art of Dealing with People". With my handwriting, I wrote, "May this book help you in developing and IMPROVING yourself, as well as differentiate between POLITENESS AND ETTIQUETE and SELFISH PRICK!" Hehehehehe......