And yeah, they have the same birthdate!

The Innocent Promise

I wanna live next to your house, and my wife will befriend your wife!

Wow, sound so nice, eh? It was a promise that I pledged together with my best friend (the one I mentioned in the previous post) during our elementary school time. A very naive and innocent promise. Now that we recalled the promise, we realized that fulfilling that would almost be one in a million. Yes, nothing impossible with my wife befriend his wife, but living next to his house? Well, that was very foolish of us to make that up.

This posting came out after conversation with Cing regarding our reminisce of past. A time when we still saw the world through the child's eyes. Black and white, with no gray area seen. And as adult, we tend to position ourselves within that gray area. According to Cing, though foolish, a childhood promise is the purest one. We made the promise under no influence from other people, under no interference of strict norms and values.

Cing herself made a promise with Git, her best friend then. They vowed to live together, remain unmarried, and take care one another. Wow! She told me that she had no idea of lesbianism then, know nothing that the action might lead people around them accusing them as a lesbian rather than as best friends. Now that she recalled the promise, she laughed out loud. Things have changed, and it is almost impossible to do that. Git remains as a favourite girl among boys.

However, it was the trace of our innocence. The era when we were spontaneous and short-thinking. The product of our over affection and naivette, but at the same time, it is also the reflection of our purity and pristinity.

I believe, that many other people out there might also make such promises with their best friend. And it is not a wrongdoing to revisit our past, returning to innocence. So, I would like to hear some of your "innocent promises" you made with your best friend from childhood. If you care to write them as a comment, I would gladly appreciate it.

The Innocent Friendship

I went to the Christmas Eve mass last night. Yeah, it's already Christmas again. I decided to celebrate my 22nd Christmas in Kidul Loji, the memorable parish, a place where I was christened, a place where I received my first holy communion, and also a place where I received my Chrisma sacrament.

Unfortunately, I couldn't focus my mind completely to the mass. At a time like that, my mind was occupied on something else. I tried my best to place my focus, but still I couldn't get the essence on attending the mass. It was until the eucharist prayer, I had this blank state of mind.

When they reach eucharist prayer, I noticed that it was the Eucharist Prayer 1. A prayer rarely used, but quite a memory for me. It mentioned several names of saints, and my patron saint is mentioned there. Quite a surprise, eh, since many people know not of the saint. But that's not the most important thing. The most intriguing part is the mentioning of St. Laurentius and St. Chrysogonus. Yep, two names as one.

I have this best friend of mine since kindergarten (and yea, we still try to maintain our friendship). His name is Laurentius Dian Ardiyanto.

Now you know why the prayer is so memorable. Because it mentions our name together! Laurentius and Chrysogonus. As we were still elementary level students, we often thought that it might be the sign from above, that our friendship will last forever. That our friendship might be started from our patron saints. That they might be friends (a completely wrong thing, now that we found out that St. Chrysogonus and St. Laurentius didn't live in the same era).

At the moment, my mind flew back to the past, revisiting some events involving us. Participated together in the radio broadcasting as a choir member, sleeping over at one another's home, being in the same group of boy scout, camped together, even his father being the godfather of my little brother. He was the one introducing me to the complexity and beauty of video game =)) (But I still play till now, while he gave up). He lent me books that I couldn't afford then, opening my horizon to the Dragon Ball Z Universe (very useless, eh???). But then, small things like that are what make up greatest memories. Our innocence..............

And at that time, I realized the essence of this year's Christmas. Friendship! This value of friendship.

You were just checked out!

Last monday (15/12), I got an assignment to supervise a final test. Introduction to Literature. Well, I like the subject. And the testers were mostly third semester students. Ah, the perfect chance to keep existing! LOL.

When I entered the class, I saw Rud. He was a "notorious" third semester student. Well, not that he's bad. He's notorious because he is the agent of Oriflame, and was well known for promoting Oriflame during speaking class. And he's also famous with his tight and gayish outfit. He rang my gaydar anyway.

As usual, in supervising a test, I put my strictest expression, scary one. I stared at everyone in the room, trying to catch even the smallest suspicious act. But then, I just realized that Rud checked me out. He stared at me. DAMN! I got to avoid staring at that area, because he might think that I was replying his "message". That meant, I lost my supervision to the area. DAMN! Really a good way to distract a supervisor!

Is This Even A Debate???

This is a story from a debating world. Yes, a world I've been attached to for more than 7 years. Ever since I decided to resign from being a debater in 2006, I still can't avoid this world. Coaching and sometimes adjudicating debate. It has become part of my life, I think.

Interestingly, this story didn't come from English Debate, but Indonesian debate held last month in Sanata Dharma University. (But things will be automatically translated. Hehehe!)

I was watching a debate match while waiting for my adjudication turn. The motion was THBT Euthanasia is not justifiable (Actually it was Sidang Percaya Bahwa Euthanasia Tidak Dapat Dibenarkan). The 1st speaker of the affirmative side gave the foundation, blah blah blah.

When the turn of 1st speaker from the negative side came, he said that Euthanasia is justifiable, because it can help us in controlling the population growth. They propose to kill every single useless man, the old man who is not productive anymore, not being able to reproduce, and who can do nothing. They will also do the poison injection to the people having death penalty, since it is more humane rather than get shot. They will not experience pain.

The 2nd speaker from the affirmative side attacked with the statement that euthanasia could only be used to the patient, and doing that to the unproductive people is a cruel act.

The respond from the 2nd speaker of the negative team was funnier. He contradicted his 1st speaker by saying that they will use that for death penalty, because the person will experience longer pain. And they deserve to get it. Wha???

The 3rd speaker again attacked by saying that doing euthanasia to control population growth is a cruel act.

And this was the funniest part. The 3rd speaker seemed so desperate, and she said. "We are not cruel. We don't actually support euthanasia, but the motion for this debate is THBT Euthanasia is not justifiable. And we are assigned as the negative side, so that we have to agree that it is justifiable. We are forced to be cruel!"

Guess what? The whole room cannot bear this any longer. Laugh could be heard everywhere. What a funny debate!

There Is Life................

I had an interesting comment for my last post, Jakarta Ranting #3.

"Point! I lose my salary basically for that reason, Chrys. Sometimes, I hang out in J-Co after work to do some gossiping under the simple reason "Rejuvination for tomorrow's work". If I couldn't come, I'll be alienated by my colleagues. Fyuh, what a bad relationship..."
(Courtesy of sinting_maut, automatically translated into English. Hehehehe!)

Jah! Reading this comment, I suddenly slipped into a dimensional wormhole and revisiting some moments in my life. This is what is happening in my office. A high demand of social gathering over professional advance. Damn, I am expected to come to the office doing nothing only for the sake of avoiding alienation. Meanwhile, my translation project is left behind. (Darn, haven't had the chance even to read the accursed Killing Freud!).

The thing is, some office culture demand us to spend more time with them than enjoying ourselves. This is something that I don't quite understand. After being absorbed with work for a long time, how could people choose not to have time for themselves.

Well, hanging out together with friends for work is also one of the ways. But then, it should not be obligatory. Once in a while, we should have the right to reject the offer.

Hanging out together with some friends for the office is not bad. What I hate is the concept of singular world. Yep, just like the principle of "There is no life outside debate" in which I never agree with. So guys, please avoid the sentence, "There is no life outside the office" (or to be more precise, There is no life outside the institution? Hehehehe!)

Under the snow
Beneth the frozen streams
There is life

You'll have to know
When nature sleeps she dreams
There is life

And the colder the winter
The warmer the spring
The deeper the sorrow
The more our hearts sing

Even when you can't see it
Inside everything
There is Life...
(There Is Life - Allison Krauss - OST Bambi 2)

See, even Bambi thought so.

Jakarta Ranting #3: Finance and Food Shock!

This is the third part of my ranting on Jakarta. Yes, as you could see from the title, that this time is about economic aspect. As a person who was born and lives in Yogya for more than 22 years, I am accustomed to the condition in Yogya. Yet, when I went to Jakarta to look for something to eat, I was shocked.

Yes, people there spend more than fifteen thousand rupiah for a plate of gado-gado. Damn! I could get three portions in Yogya with that much money. While I thought I am the only one having the culture shock, I found out that Maya, my newly found friend from Surabaya, was falling into the same state with me. Yikes! Did that mean that Jakarta is more expensive than Surabaya in the living cost? One complaint that I remember exactly from her was that she should gave up 8000 for a bottle of aqua. Geee, thank God I am stingy and decided to refill my mineral bottle in the dorm and campus. Kekekekeke! (PS : This is my chinesse side talking!)

On our shopping trip to Plaza Senayan, I had a discussion with Bu Tere (a lecturer from Atma Jakarta who accompanied us) on the Starbucks. Yep, the famous coffee shop. The successful one in Jakarta, but is very quiet in Yogyakarta. The one which sell a cup of coffee for 50 grand rupiah. She told me that the price is quite normal in Jakarta. She even emphasized that normally a cup of coffee in a decent coffee shop would cost around 30 grand. From W to O and ended up in W. WOW!!! Big Wow! In Yogya, I would think twice to pay more than 10 grand only for a cup of coffee. I even got upset when I had to pay 13 grand for a cup of cappuccino at Own Cafe. DAMN! I could get a glassful of Frapuccino for less than 10 grand at Djendelo or the late Deket Rumah.

On the second morning of the seminar, I had a talk with Fin and Fat. They were astonished to find out that we could satisfy our hunger with only 5 grand in Yogya. For them, it is an impossible thing to do in Jakarta. Gee, they should pay Mie Tante a visit. A bowl of chicken noodle would cost only 5500. Plus a grand for a glass of ice tea.

Ah, Jakarta. I'm glad to live in Yogya...............................

Jakarta Ranting #2: My Beloved Torturing Jacket

I have a habit of wearing jacket whenever I’m travelling. So, when I went to Jakarta, I took my brown jacket with a pocket inside. Thing that I really like from a jacket is the additional pocket, so that I could place things. To be precise, I could put my cellphone in the pocket, with the headset. It will look like I’m listening to the MP3 without putting my cellphone out of public exposure, thus avoiding robbery.

This habit has been formed since long time ago. It will even be awkward for me to go to school or campus or anywhere else without wearing my jacket. Well, since I always go by motorbike, so forgetting my jacket is a suicidal movement. And this habit finally upset me in Jakarta.

Yes, I brought my jacket with me to Jakarta. And in the morning, when I had to walk to Sarinah from Menteng, my first reflex was to put my jacket on. Imbecilely thinking that the situation is similar to Yogya, breezy morning, fresh air, and temperate weather. Damn, I completely forgot that it was Jakarta! Hotter than hell! And to think that I walked quite a distance, I was all sweaty by the time I reached Transjakarta. Damn!

After the end of the first day seminar, I realized that I was fool enough to bring my jacket. I could not leave it in the seminar venue, so that I had to bring it anywhere. Putting the jacket within my bag was not an option, since I only brought a sling bag to the seminar. Putting it off and carried it by my hand was way too risky, considering that I save my train ticket in the pocket.

Thus, I went shopping to the Plaza Senayan (accompanied by my newly found friend and one lecturer! Gyahahahaha!) with my jacket on. Another long walk, another queue at the busway stop, another hot weather. Eeew! And you think that was all over?

From Plaza Senayan, we went back to our place. And for me, that means stopping at Halte Sarinah and took another decent walk to Menteng. Sweaty, exhausted, and cursing at my jacket.

Damn, shouldn’t have brought the jacket with me that day!

Jakarta Ranting #1 : Bajaj oh Bajaj.......

I got an opportunity to present my paper in the Intercollegiate Seminar 2008. A nationwide seminar of varsities. Quite prestigious, eh? But then, it was held in Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia. A city I really hate. Huh, imagining living there has been hard enough, and now, being given the chance to stay there alone...........

So I went to Jakarta alone. Totally alone with no advisor accompanied me. Yet, I managed to reach Gambir station successfully without losing anything. Thus, came my first obstacle. I was blind of transportation mode there, and know nothing of the direction. Darn. I had not even the foggiest idea of which way to Menteng Raya.

One of my acquaintance told me that the place is relatively near Gambir. You could even just walk there. But he suggested me taking the bajaj or taxi. I know that I am stingy, but then, the comfort came first. My first thought ever since I was still in Yogyakarta was taking taxi. But my parents objected by saying that using taxi was dangerous. So, following their advice, I searched for bajaj around the railway station.

The first bajaj. I asked him with a very short sentence, trying my best to lose my strong Javanese accent. And he offered me twenty five thousand rupiah. Damn! I already got the info that the normal rate from Gambir to Kanisius Menteng is ten thousand. Thus, I tried haggling. And, it was still unsuccessful.

Moved to the second bajaj, The same thing happened again. Twenty five thousand, with unsuccessful haggle.

The third bajaj. Nothing's changed. I looked at my cellphone, and it was almost 7. Good God, I got panicked, since I realized that coming to the dorm late gave no good impression. So, I paid twenty five thousand rupiah to the third bajaj. He gave me a reasoning, that there was a very great traffic jam, so they need to move around.

What was the reality? It was so damn near, and it took me only five minutes. No traffic jam that I saw. Grrrrhhh! They might notice my Javanese accent and decided to trick me.

There goes my twenty five thousand.................

Jakarta, oh Jakarta.

(Is it Really) A Marriage Proposal??

Yep, you read the title right, a marriage proposal. And this proposal was really given to me by "the little devil". (She's probably out of her mind, eh?)

The story took place when I was adjudicating for Indonesian debate competition in campus. The clock was already at 17.15, and it was the last round of debate that day. I was so damn tired, since I've been adjudicating since 09.00, continuously, as well as helping the tabulation. I stretched my body on my chair, and at that moment, I saw her sitting in the back row of the room. DAMN, said I in my head. But then, I tried to think positively, that probably she needed some entertainment after attending the expo stand for the whole day.

The round was over. Me, Pak Karmin, and Ferer were walking out of the room, when she suddenly came over to me. She pat my shoulder and said, "Mas, I got to say thank you!"

Cold voice mode: on. I answered, "For what?"

"For making me annoyed. I started to study harder then!"

Still in freezing tone, "Oh. Good for you!"

SHe looked at me gaily (sorry, got to use this old term.. Hehehehe!) "And anyway, I change my target already!"

I smiled at heart. YES! YES! YES! But, I gotta maintain my charisma, and still with a whisper from within the blizzard storm, I answered, "OK!" Short, cold, and straight.

"I ain't aiming to be your girlfriend again!" Wooohoooo!!!!! I felt like hopping around like a drunken bunny. FINALLY!!!!!

"My target now is to be your wife!"

BLAAAR!!!! The clear sky seemed to be dark and stormy. My world suddenly turned upside down. SHE'S CRAZY!!!!!!!!!! Totally crazyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!! I had enough with her, and by all mind tried to shoo her outta my way. But, she's too aggressive to be shooed. *changing the setting into Crisis on Infinite Earths #10 cover, where Superman cried over Supergirl's dead body (Ooops, spoiler!) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Dammit, dammit, dammit! Since that time, she started acting like a spoiled girlfriend from hell, attached too close, which made me hate her even more. Eeeeew!!!!!

Revisiting the Concept of Hero

Revisiting November 10, a day supposed to be a memorial for all the late heroes. Many writings in newspaper tried to redefine what it meant to be a hero. Yep, surprisingly the memorial day this year was close with the execution day of Amrozi and friends, people responsible of Bali bombing terror.

For some people, they are seen as the devil incarnation, who dared to erase many people from their existence within this plane. More than one hundred people (hope I'm not mistaken) had been killed during the tragedy. But for some others, they are considered as the purificator of the so-called Indonistan (sorry, I borrowed this term from one of the famous BB in the net).

But then, the Dutch also considered Pangeran Diponegoro as the devil incarnation during the Diponegoro war. Meanwhile, he is one of Indonesian great heroes.

Then, I came back to the old yin yang theory proposed by a lady I know. It was said that there is no single soul ever considered as the saviour. For if one would be a saviour, then this soul would be seen as the eliminator by the other sides. When a hero saved one party, he beat the other party. Thus, by his party, he would be seen as someone good, but as someone evil for the beaten side. Hero for one side is automatically evil for the other side. Just like shadow cannot exist without light, and vice versa.

But then, how could people judge whether someone is a hero or a traitor?

It might be a bit freakish, but I would like to put a focus on the philosophy of the whole Gundam series. Well, to be honest, this is the first series which made me think of good and evil.

In the classic plot, there were two characters, each played important role. One is Amuro Ray from the Earth Federation, and the other is Char Aznable from Zeon. During the whole canon, Char was viewed as the evil one, while Amuro is the angel. Quite strange, I prefer Char as the good guy in the story (My fault probably, for I watched the closing movie of the whole canon, Char's Counterattack). Then, I saw that both were heroes. Amuro was considered as a hero for the Earth Federation, while Char was a hero for Zeon and Colonies. However, Amuro was also considered as the grim reaper for Zeon and Colonies, and vice versa. Many side story movies were produced, and those took different point of view, both from Zeon and Earth Federation.

Thus, stepping from those view, I started to look for a new definition of Heroes. Probably, it's time to (borrowing the tagline of Marvel vs Capcom 2) A New Age of Heroes...

Well, in short, what is the conclusion? I got to say that IMHO, hero or evil is just a matter of perception. Let the people build a monument for Amrozi, and let other people spit at it. It's their right to choose which side they are on. Me? I'll keep on my track. Hell with being evil or hero.

Office oh Office............

I wanted to stay away from my office for a while! That's for sure.

I don't know why, probably i'm being too naive to think that this office is really something. That no problem will ever happen here.

Then, voila! Many problems came!

My probation period is prolonged, since the last period, I got not really positive comments from students in my class. But, in fact, even my partner in that class, a long time lecturer from English Education, also got even worse comment than me.. That class was really a hard class. Lifting up their mood is a very hard job.

I am expected (indirectly) to stay in the office, while doing nothing. For in fact, the work management is crumbled and totally disorganized. The longer I stay in the office, the more acceptance I will get. But doing nothing? Waiting for empty space until my jaw drop? I can use my time for another productive things, dude! The risk is, I will be alienated from the office. People started thinking that I am anti social! Being regarded as anti-social really help me to be out from the long-formed-bond..... Dilemma, eh?

I found many things hidden beneath the veil of tranquility. People there are really smart to hide those problems under their hospitality. Hidden hostility, should I say.

Dammit, I really want to throw it away in a writing, but my brain is too messed up.

Indonesian Customer? Duh!!!!

I just read a very hilarious letter from reader in Kompas (27/10). First time I read it, I laughed out loud. It’s a complaint to the service in Wendy’s. This is the story.

A woman and her friend went to Wendy’s with five children. She wrote that she ordered five fried chickens with rice as well as broccoli and cheese (Hey, what was that? I though it’s just the sauce? Shouldn’t it be baked potato with broccoli and cheese??) She was shocked knowing that Wendy’s gave her no spoon.

She then complained to the front liner, asking for five spoons. Of course the front liner refused to give her those spoons. “We only gave spoon to those ordered soup, ma’am! Chicken and rice should be eaten by hand here!” (Sure, who ever heard of someone eating fried chicken and rice with spoon in the fast food restaurant?”

This lady insisted be given spoons. She even insisted that she will buy those spoons. But the front liner said that the spoons were not for sale. This (stupid) lady who wrote a letter grew furious. She still wanted spoons, because she didn’t want the children to eat by their hands. This was her complaint.

Ouch, let’s see here. WHO’S STUPID? And every customer in Indonesia wanted to be treated special; even it contradicts the common sense??? Does this lady even realize the common sense and how to eat in a fast food restaurant? If she wanted to eat with spoon, why go to fast-food restaurant? Shouldn’t she go to the regular restaurant? And she even wrote the complaint in a nationwide newspaper?? Wouldn’t it humiliate herself even worse?

D’oh! Indonesia, oh Indonesia…………….

Yatta, yatta, yatta! After a long wait last Saturday, I finally got the result of my thesis defense. GRADUATED!!!!!

Now, I can officially use Chrysogonus Siddha Malilang, S.Pd. as my name!!!! Yay!

Finally over............

Well, related to my previous post, I finally manage to get through the execution room. For some people, moments after the thesis defense examination are blissful heaven. They only need to wait for the mark. No burden left and free like a bird.

Waiting... Duh, why do they say that? Waiting is extremely boring. Especially when your bosom is palpitating with random beats everynite.

Me? Wew, I got a deadly combination of lecturers as my board of examiners. And guess what? One of them is Ph.D. already, but seemed not to understand my thesis fully!!! Aaaaaargh!!!!!!! The comments that this lecturer gave me after the exam were excessively stressful.

I'm gonna kill someone who said that the world seemed brighter after the thesis defense!

Dynasty Warriors 6 for PS2!

Actually, I have prepared some more serious writings than this. I only need to edit some parts of that writings, but this unimportant thing suddenly burst in my head. Yep! Shin Sangoku Musou 5 Special Edition.

Actually, I had nothing to do when I finally decided to went to a game shop near my home. At that second, an image struck me. I saw Zhao Yun and Sima Yi in the new game rack. I thought, hmm, is that a new cover variant from Warriors Orochi 2? But no.. When I approached it, it was Shin Sangoku Musou 5 Special Edition for PS2. Below that, I saw Dynasty Warriors 6 written in it. WHAT??? Is this another kind of trick? Just like those Digimon World 4 for PSX (But it turned out to be Digimon World 1 inside! Damn!). I knew deep within me that I should not fall for the same trick twice, but I decided to purchase it.

I went straight to the internet cafe near there and opened GameFAQ to check it. And guess what? It confirmed my happiness. Yes, KOEI did port the newest installment of Dynasty Warriors franchise to its long time home, the sweet PS2. Surely, this is a good news for poor gamer like me who can't afford 360 yet (though the price of 360 arcade dropped to $199, but with the instability of currency rate and my monthly paycheck, still cannot afford it!). With the big changes they made, who wouldn't want to taste this (almost brand) new game? Revamped characters, revamped weapons, revamped engine, and new ability (sadly, due to the inferiority of PS 2 to PS 3 and 360, the new ability to swim was eliminated)

Another big news, KOEI revert some characters back to their original weapon! Zhang He got his claws back rather than generic spear moveset, Taishi Chi back with his Twin Rod, Ling Tong left his generic spear moveset and acquired triple stick. Yue Ying still leave her beloved scythe, but also leave her bow (with identical moveset to Shang Xiang) and got Dart Blade (made me wonder, isn't that too modern for that era?) Furthermore, these characters now got their own musou story! Yay!!!

Thus, PS 2 still rule!! Its lifespan is still there....... Viva KOEI!!!

Bulan di Atas Kuburan

Nisan itu berkilau tertimpa elusan lembut dari cahaya bulan purnama yang bersinar di atas langit kelam. Sementara itu, tanah kecoklatan di sekitarnya masih basah tersiram oleh gerimis yang baru saja mereda. Tidak ada suara, selain desau angin malam yang menggoyangkan dedaunan pohon kamboja besar di tengah kompleks pemakaman itu.
Sesosok pria tampak duduk di samping sebuah nisan. Sesekali, tangannya yang besar itu membenarkan kancingan jaketnya. Hembusan nafasnya perlahan, bagaikan menyatu dengan irama malam yang tengah dimainkan oleh orkestra yang tak terlihat. Ketika angin menghembus kencang, ia menghela nafas panjang. Tapi ketika desir hawa di pepohonan menggoyangkan kuntum kamboja perlahan, ia menarik nafasnya perlahan, bagaikan sebuah patung.
“Kenapa kau disini?” tanya sebuah suara memecah keheningan pekuburan itu.
“Tak bolehkah?” jawab pria itu tanpa menoleh ke arah asal suara itu. Pandangannya tetap lurus ke depan, kosong dan hampa.
“Tidak biasanya kutemui seseorang menghabiskan waktunya di pekuburan kuno ini,” sahut suara itu lembut, senada dengan irama malam yang hening.
“Lalu kau sendiri dianggap apa?” balik sang pria.
Suara itu tertawa perlahan. “Yah, aku tak pernah melihat hal seperti ini sebelumnya! Kata orang, pekuburan ini berhantu. Jadi, bahkan di waktu siang pun tidak ada yang berani mendekatinya. Tapi di tengah malam seperti ini, justru aku menemuimu. Tidakkah kau takut?”
Sebuah tawa sinis perlahan keluar dari mulut sang pria. “Hantu? Lalu apakah yang bisa mereka lakukan padaku? Paling-paling engkaulah hantu itu!”
“Aku bukan hantu, hanya seorang yang seringkali menghabiskan waktunya di sini. Melihat bintang yang sudah tidak terlihat lagi di tengah kota. Menikmati indahnya bulan purnama yang begitu bulat dan menenangkan. Justru di tempat seperti ini, barulah aku bisa merasakan keanggunan mereka tanpa diganggu oleh bintang-bintang buatan manusia,” jawabnya.
“Aku setuju. Seringkali manusia menginginkan lebih, sehingga justru melupakan yang asli. Mereka lupa, justru karena sinar pucat itu berada di kegelapan, keindahan itu muncul!”
“Kau sepertinya salah seorang dari mereka. Apa yang membawamu kesini?”
Pria itu menghela nafas panjang. Ia menjawab perlahan, “Tempat ini memanggilku di kala siang. Ia menggodaku dengan sebuah rentangan tangan lebar, seakan siap untuk menyambutku. Sudah tidak ada lagi yang kutakuti, jadi, mengapa tidak kucoba?”
Hening sesaat sebelum ada jawaban, “Lalu?”
“Ini tempat yang baik untuk menyendiri. Nisan-nisan tua yang sudah terlupakan dan tak terawat lagi. Ini seolah-olah telah menjadi tempat najis yang dijauhi oleh manusia, yang bahkan untuk meliriknya pun mereka tak mau. Ah, manusia!”
Diam. Tidak ada suara kembali, sehingga sang pria dapat mendengar gema suaranya sendiri. “Manusia...... Sia...... A.... a....”
“Habis manis sepah dibuang, eh? Orang-orang itu. Dibuang dan dibiarkan membusuk. Terlupakan!”
“Tapi ada damai, bukan?”
“Damai. Apakah arti kata itu?”
“Ketika kau bisa melihat keindahan dari cahaya pucat itu, ketika kau merasakan belaian dari sang angin, dan ketika cahaya bintang itu tidak lagi terlalu kecil untuk kau nikmati. Itulah damai bagiku!”
Ia menghela nafas lagi. Kepalanya mendongak dan badannya rebah di atas tanah basah itu. Persis di samping nisan, ia melihat sekuntum bunga liar. Matanya terpejam, dan ia menggumam. “Jadi, itulah alasanmu mengundangku kesini? Membawaku pulang ke pangkuan Ibu Sri!”
Tidak ada jawaban. Ia tidak lagi merasakan kehadiran seorang pun di sekitarnya. Tidak, mungkin yang lebih tepat, ia tidak pernah merasakan kehadiran seorang pun disana.
Malam terus berjalan, dan cahaya sang bulan masih menyapu nisan-nisan itu. Kali ini terbaca sebuah nama disana, Sri Pratiwi.

Ciam Si

Eid Holiday and my mother insisted us go out of town. Thus, on the first day of Eid, we went to Semarang instead of going around visiting relatives. Well, not that we were not visiting relatives though, since in Semarang we saw my great grandaunt, a nun.

On our way back home, we decided to visit Vihara Buddhagaya near Semarang. It’s very interesting though, with the high Pagoda, named Avalokitesvara Pagoda. We could even see Bodhi tree there, since the monks there got the seed of Bodhi directly from Sri Lanka. It is a very big tree, grand one.

In the pagoda, there was big Guan Yin statue, and in the wall around it, there were many statues of Guan Yin in many positions. But what stroke me more was four vases with bamboos in it. I knew it, recognized it as Ciam Si (or Ziam Xi? Or Zhiam Si? Gosh, I really hate this Pinyin things! Lemme just write it with Wade-Gilles!).

Ciam Si is one of the fortunetelling schools. I read about it many times, and now it was under my nose. Curious, I asked the worker there, whether I could use it or not. Yes, he nodded and started telling me the procedure. First, I got to utter my question after asking permission from Guan Yin. “Mak Cho, me, Chrysogonus Siddha Malilang, would like to ask --------piiiiip!-------------“ (Sorry, censored! XD) Then, I had to throw two wooden blocks. Yes, one faced up and one faced down, meaning I was allowed to ask the question and shake the bamboos. The worker there said that I should shake the vas until a single bamboo stick was down. Gee, there were 60 sticks there, and I was nervous how can I make only one single stick fell? I finally made TWO bamboo sticks fell. Invalid, said he. Got to repeat the shaking……

Crik! Crik! Crik! One single stick fell. Huh, finally. I thought it was over, and I could get my piece of paper. Turned out not. I got to throw the wooden blocks once again while asking whether this really was the answer or not. Again, I threw it. Once more, one up and one down. CONFIRMED!

I picked the paper, and guess what? I was very afraid of bad result before, since my mind was totally screwed at the moment. But what I got was something promising success and only little obstacles. I took a deep breath there. Aargh, thank God!

Warriors Orochi 2 NA Version is Finally Released!

I still remember it, my very first game in PS2 as well as my very first one that I finished after I own that precious little black box. Warriors Orochi! Wew! Actually, I didn’t know that such title exist if not for the Revolt clerk’s recommendation. He saw me picking up Dynasty Warriors and Samurai Warriors, and gave me Warriors Orochi, saying that the game was the amalgamation of the previous two. Being newbie (in PS2, not in a gaming world), I took it. Reaching home, I started playing that game. Guess what? I was completely astonished with that, even I started learning the background of Sam Kok and Sengoku era from that game. Hehehehe, totally reversed!

Last March (or April?), I heard that KOEI finally released the sequel of the game, Musou Orochi 2: Maou Sairin. Heck! It was still in Japanese and no confirmation yet whether KOEI will localize it in America or not. I was completely euphoric then, and without thinking further, I rushed to game shop and purchased it. When I started playing it at home, everything was written in Hiragana-Katakana-Kanji-worm-like-letters. I could actually play it without understanding its storyline, just like every other kiddo. But then, I was hesitated, since I decided to wait for the translation. Heck, I thought, if the NA version isn’t released, then I’ll play this version instead.

A long, long, long await……… When finally I saw it in GameFAQ. The announcement! The schedule! Warriors Orochi 2 will be launched on September 23! September 23! Exactly on my birthday! Wow, wow, wow! So this is a birthday present from KOEI for me… Hehehehehe!

I didn’t act foolishly by rushing to the game shop on that date. Still considering that the official launching was September 23, and localized (a.k.a. pirated) version in Indonesia will be there in around 2-3 days. So, last Friday (26/9) I went to the game shop. Feeling desperate since I couldn’t find it in the rack, I heard someone sending new games to the shop. And one of them was Orochi 2!!! Yipeeeeee!!! Took it, paid it, went home, changed my clothes, turned on the TV, opened the lid of that precious black box, inserted it, closed it, and turned on the console…. Booting, PlayStation 2 logo, KOEI logo, Omega Forces logo, and finally, WARRIORS OROCHI 2 (press start button.. Hehehehehe!) Yay!

I knew it, many improvements were there. Now KOEI included the ability to do True Musou without red-life bar by equipping some skills (finally! This should be there since the very first instalment!). The second instalment also has the ability to do triple musou attack (a.k.a. support attack) where all three characters will appear at the same time and start butchering the enemy. Huray! Huray! Huray!

Unlike the previous instalment, which have only 4 stories, this one has 5 stories! Shu, Wei, Wu, Samurai, and…….. OROCHI!!! Wow! So now we can play as Orochi and Da Ji since the first stage. Ouch! KOEI really spoiled me… I don’t need to fulfil several criteria to unlock some officers like in the previous instalment. Now, by progressing through all five stories, you can have all officers (excluding Orochi X and some Survival-VS only characters. But, who need those weird officers?). Talking about officer, they included new faces here. Guess who? They are Minamoto Yoshitsune (ouch, they should include Shizuka too!), Taira Kiyomori, Taigong Wang, Himiko, and SUN WUKONG!!!! :-o Fu Xi and Nu Wa also came back here. Wew, so now Diao Chan has a rival!

Another good point, KOEI included the third costume for everyone. Basically, this costume is a costume from Dynasty Warriors 4 and Samurai Warriors 1. But for those first appeared in Dynasty Warriors 5 and Samurai Warriors 2 (or even the original characters like Da Ji and Taigong Wang), they made special costume. And guess what, I could even fell for Da Ji in her third costume… Blonde hair, cat ears, white outfit. Oww, so seducing… We could even see Ginchiyo Tachibana in a non-armor outfit. Geee……….

Okay, now from the storyline aspect. Well, Orochi is not the only bad guy here. In fact, he’s mentioned only in the last chapter. The real bad guy here is Taira Kiyomori who tried to revive Orochi. Minamoto Yoshitsune, his rival, tried to stop him though. On the other side, Da Ji was chased by the mystics, Taigong Wang, Fu Xi, and Nu Wa for releasing Orochi from the prison.

Reminisce to the first game, where KOEI compared Cao Cao and Nobunaga, as well as Keiji Maeda and Lu Bu, now they did it again. This time, Zhang Fei met Tadakatsu Honda, Zhang Xing Cai befriend Ina-hime (considering their father’s background), Ieyasu Tokugawa found a soulmate in Liu Bei, and one (impossible) pair from same franchise, Gan Ning with Zhang Liao! Gee… They really are mad………

With the release of Dynasty Warriors 6 prior to this game, some changes also took place. I was shocked when playing as Sun Shang Xiang. I know that in DW 6, she didn’t have her chakram anymore, but bow. And in this game, her R1 + directional button attack was firing arrows at the enemies. And it really is deadly. Aaargh!!!!!!!

PS : Gee, I know this might be a foolish wish, but could KOEI also release Orochi 3 in the old-but-beautiful-black-console-PlayStation 2???

To CALL or not to CALL?

I attended a workshop on CALL last friday (19/09). Hmm, the presenter was not “okay” for me in terms of face validity. Hehehehe! He looked like a businessman rather than a trainer. Surprise, surprise, when the moderator introduced him, I knew that he took Business and Finance as his bachelor and master degree. However, he took TESOL for his doctoral degree. Hmm, suspicious. I smelled something fishy going on.

Well, in fact he did make some “interesting” points. First, he told us that in the traditional teaching, reading skill dominates all the skills. And that Grammar Translation Method and Audio Lingual Method has been outdated. Thus, we need CALL to create a supportive virtual environment for the language acquisition. However, seeing from his demonstration of the program, we saw that it actually is an Audio Lingual method instructed through computer. WHAT??

Next point was in the point of critical thinking. He said that CALL implemented critical thinking, in which the emphasis was on the pattern recognition, not pattern memorization. Another contradiction, all the exercises there were cloze-test. And what is the basic nature of cloze-test? Pattern practice drilling. And what is the nature of drilling? Memorization!!!! GOOD!

The listening exercises were not using any written sentence, even for the instruction. They used visual aids instead. Yes, using visual aids to explain the meaning is good, but as the semantics theory mentioned that not all things can be visualized! (Reminisce to Bu Veni's Semantics class) How can you visualize passion? How can you visualize itch? And even though all those things can be visualized, the schemata (a.k.a. background knowledge) of every people will respond differently.

Related to the previous point that everybody will respond differently, it will affect their answers. However, the form of the exercises there was close-ended question, which gave no possibilities for more than one answer. And that contradicts the principle of constructivism. Furthermore, constructivism is the hype basis of the teaching-learning activity in the post-modern era. WEW!

This 'big' guy also quoted Krashen and Pinker to strengthen his argument. However, did he really read those, or quoting it from somewhere else? Since he didn't apply Krashen's comprehensible input, i+1. (I was tempted to ask about this, but it turned out that I didn't have the heart to do it. XD) He didn't consider the difference between L1 acquisition and L2 acquisition in adult learners, since he generalize adult and young learners. OUCH! And where did the lateralization and critical period advantages go in young learners?

In the end, the fishy things were out. He was there to SELL the program. Yikes! So, he's some kind of salesman? Educated salesman?? And he took TESOL as his doctoral degree only to smoothen his way in this field?

Waow! Be patient dude, be patient. It's a fasting month. And, you did learn something too. :D

Avalokitesvara 2 - Tara

Something weird just happened to me in last days. This is related to the little annoying childish devil (Wow, so now I’m using that term to refer to her?). Well, this is the case, she texted me once by using her-so-called-romantic-complicated-style of poetry text. And hey, for people knowing me well, I am always tempted to reply that kind of text, using my own complicated thingy. Well, kind of showing off that I can make something more complicated than that! Wahahahaha!!!!

She texted me about Sita and such, taking excerpt from wayang. I thought, wow, so she wanted to have a “duel” in this realm? So I replied by comparing Sita, Banowati, and Drupadi. Guess what, she said that she knew Banowati. Gee, I doubted it actually. Again, she replied using that kind of register, her so-called-wayang-register-but-actually-too-shallow. So, I challenged her by mentioning Avalokitesvara and Tara. Hit the spot, dude! She didn’t know who Tara is (in fact she thought that Tara is the one having hundred kids! Dude! That’s Gandari!!!) Few days ago, she said that I shall never get my Tara. Geee, I never try to look for Tara. See, with that childish mind of her, again, she misunderstood.

Okay, enough with the introduction. Let’s just see who is Tara here!

Tara is not the husband of Sugriwa. She is not the one who is the daughter of Indra. Instead, Tara is the avatara of Avalokitesvara. Legend mentioned that she is born from Avalokitesvara’s tears when seeing so many creatures in-need of help. Though she’s powerful, she still can’t do it alone. Thus, born Tara. Tārā is also known as a saviouress, as a heavenly deity who hears the cries of beings experiencing misery in samsara, She is the consort of Avalokitesvara, and also devoted her life to help others.

In Buddhist pantheon, it was said that there are 21 taras, each with their own specification. Below are the most famous incarnation of tara

Green Tārā, known as the Buddha of enlightened activity
White Tārā, also known for compassion, long life, healing and serenity; also known as The Wish-fulfilling Wheel, or Cintachakra
Red Tārā, of fierce aspect associated with magnetizing all good things
Black Tārā, associated with power
Yellow Tārā, associated with wealth and prosperity
Blue Tārā, associated with transmutation of anger

Last word for that little devil, I’m not looking for Tara to be my partner. It’s just a figurative expression. But thanks to Tara, I can get rid of you!
Om tare tutare ture Svaha!

The Call - Another Ranting of Faith and Belief

It started out as a feeling,
Which then grow into a hope
Which then turn into a quiet thought
Which then turn into a quite word
And then the word grew louder and louder
Till it was a battle cry
I’ll call back when you call me

That was a lyric from “The Call”, an ending song of Chronicles of Narnia : Prince Caspian. The song was sung by Regina Spektor. Ever since I first heard it in the cinema, I was drawn into it. Well, the melody is the one I like. Googling for it, but never got the MP3, perhaps because it is not a famous song. However, thanks to the miracle called youtube, I was able to get it complete with the lyrics.

No, I’m not going to comment on the song, on how it really is good. Still related to the previous post of mine, about the call. Is it an accident that I stumbled into this song on my playlist this morning? The very first part of the song gave me a clue of what a call is.

It was first a feeling, and then a hope, then we start thinking about it quietly, lingered in our mind. Okay, period here. I am in this stage, where the idea, the feeling lingered in my mind for like an eternity. But for me, that word is not, I mean, has not become louder as a battle cry. Instead, it is (still) a whisper.

Pay attention to the last line, I’ll call you back when you call me. So much of my missed-call concept, eh? That I’m delaying replying the call from above until I’m ready. But when is the exact time of my readiness? Is it now? Now that I’ve entered the grey area of life?

I humbly realized that no single living entity under heaven could help me in making decision. It’s solely the product of my own mind. In a flash, my mind flew back to SPD class, where bu Lani told us about CAC, Choice, Action, and Consequences. That we have to be ready to take any consequence from any of our action.

Going back to the fire aspect, I think I have yet to discover the fire within my soul. That fire will be the driving force (and no, I’m not referring to libido, since the context is out of Freud!). Once I find it, I’ll know where to go. Thus, I have to once again depart for a journey to my deepest self. Kinda remind me of tarot, where Hermit card is said to be my personal card, along with High Priestess. High Priestess means the esotheric side, and Hermit means a journey within to look something veiled deep in the soul of ours.

Gee, what’s the bottomline of my ranting? That I stumbled into a perfect song to add my confusion!

PS : Romo Agus replied my email of confusion and responded. “Maybe it’s good to consider your feeling over those options. What feeling is more dominant, then follow it!” (automatically translated into English – red. Huahahahahaha!)

Hypochondria

Again, I was tickled when reading the article in recent edition of Intisari. This article was in the health section and talked about Hypochondria. Wow, wow, wow, what the hell is hypochondria?

According to the article, hypochondria is an extreme paranoia of disease. Some people have the awareness towards diseases, but in the case of hypochondria, they tend to think that they have certain disease. They are convinced that they have, say for example, deadly cancer within their body. Moreover, the information that they got through reading the health article convinced them more that they have that. Wow! In relation to the recent development of information technology, there is also cyberchondria, in which one got the information of diseases through the internet.

Bad news, hypochondria and cyberchondria is classified into a mental disorder caused by trauma. WOW! Big wow!

Cha and Mit were always annoyed with my over analyzing the symptoms within my body. I once thought that I had skin cancer, though in fact I got allergy. Thinking of having a brain cancer while I actually was totally tired. The recent one, I thought that I had prostate cancer while actually it was just the cold weather forcing me to urinate often. I once also thought that I got HIV when the mosquito bites in my skin leave a black spot, while in fact it's the genetic skin problem from my mother side. From D to A, to M, to N! Gimme DAMN!

PS : I actually want to write this article under the name extreme paranoia, but after reading the article, I decided to change the title into Hypochondria. Wew, what the hell did the writer in Intisari think?

Ranting from AJCU - EAO Annual Meeting 2008

Still another rambling from last AJCU-EAO Annual Meeting. This time, I’m going to rant on the very first session of the meeting, presentation of GC 35 result. Father Bambang from ATMI Solo presented his understanding on it, putting the emphasis on the 4F, which are Fire, Frontier, Fidelity, and Friendship. Those points were quite interesting and inspiring though, with the tagline to summarize it saying “Fire in our hearts, Frontier is the mission, Fidelity is the cause, and Friendship is the way.”

Hmm, talking about the fire and frontier, it really is inspiring. Fire burning within the heart to start the frontier. But, I’m not writing to preach upon those. It is so not me to preach something that I didn’t do. Some parts of his paper are the main point of discussion here in this article. It tickled me so hard, pondered my mind quickly, and banged my soul to pieces. It was under the sub-heading “Religion in the Post-Modern World”.

“The Renaissance and sociologist in the forties, made a hypothesis that religion will slowly disappear. Contrary to that prediction, in the post-modern society, religion way of lives still exists and can grow in the framework of secular government system. Religion and religious lives still give the important foundation where the collective and personal identity can be formed. This becomes a source of extraordinary energy to motivate common action. The Renaissance, which brought the demystification of the world, has reached its limits. Indirectly, what is the most essential in religiosity comes to surface in our age, as an irreplaceable horizon, which can even embrace the most secular.

(Yep, I’ll give my comment directly per paragraph between brackets. Can’t deny the fact that religion is still considered important, though it doesn’t rule every aspect of life. GOD! I can’t imagine my whole life being controlled by those strict rules. I mean, there are some good points in religion, but giving my life all to those dogmas? You gotta be kidding me! Giving my life all to God is okay, but to Dogmas??? Get real, dude! Dogmas are man-made. And, I believe with all my heart, that God didn’t spend His time to construct strict rules, like how we should pray, when should we pray, what should and shouldn’t be eaten, what tools to use, and blah blah blah….. Call me heretic if you want, but for me rules are made to break. Place as many rules around me, and I’ll find a way to break it without anyone accusing me guilty. Wait, that’s so Jesuit, isn’t it? Hehehehe… kidding!)

“In the modern society, religion is practices in the context of technical, rational, science based, and communication media focused environment. Those are not the main problem. The most dangerous threat to religion is the individualism which grows together with modernity. It is the very problem which is fought against by fundamentalist movement, or better expression: the “counter secular” movements. Individualism makes religion lost its unifying social role. The trend is to treat religion like supermarket, where rituals, myth, and mysticism, as well as dogma can be chosen as individual likeness. The pure individualistic and market oriented approach creates a spirituality which is incomplete and without commitment.”

(DAMN! This is the very point which strikes me in heart, pierced my soul and shattered it to million crunches. I put logic in every ritual that I had to follow, analyze those in many angles. I started to hate the unity, hate the fact that I’m going to meet many people in churches. Hate seeing people that I considered as hypocrites, placing religion above GOD Himself. Especially after the incident with that BITCH named FEA. Yep, I finally write her real name. Still can’t forgive her for that, way too deep, brainless girl. Wew, I ranted again….. Sorry guys. Back to topic, I went studying other religions, even those paganisms. I was into Kabala, Buddhism, Hinduism, and lately, I studied Druidism. Am I just a customer in the market? My real reason for avoiding going to mass all this time is this boredom towards the long ritual as well as the annoyance of people who place rituals and dogmas as something strict as nail.)

Here comes the most surprising fact. Despite those rants and ramblings I had above, I did consider entering the scholastic! Marvelous!!! What could be funnier?

A Story from Room 257

I went to Cikarang since last Monday (25/8) for a meeting of AJCU-EAO (Association of Jesuit Colleges and University - East Asia Oceania). Well, I'm not Jesuit, though, but how knows if one day I'll be one. In fact, most of the comers are Jesuits. Wow, it must be very hard for my sinful soul to be in that kind of community, taking communion and join the mass every evening. Surprise, surprise! I enjoy it...

Well, enough with the meeting, since it will make a whole new story which I might tell it later. I stayed at the room 257 of Grand Cikarang hotel. This room gave me some interesting stories.

At first, I thought that I'm going to find a beautiful room, with bathtub in the bathroom. But, it is not a first class room (or a room that I imagine would be found in such hotel). Well, I have a kingsize bed only for me alone, an air conditioner, and cable TV, as well as hot water shower. But, no bathtub!!! It might sound so dumb, but I want to try bathing in such tub while reading and sipping hot tea.

At my first night, I could barely sleep. Every once in a while, there was a knock on my door. And everytime I opened the door to see the knocker, to greet him or her, no one was there. Yep, it seemed like something knocked on my door, not someone. It's not that I was afraid. There was no single fright in my vein. It was just the annoyance. I always thought that it was either Bu Tri or Romo Agus. It was annoying though, and I wasn't able to sleep until 2 AM. I had to wake up at 5 AM. So, it was only 3-hour-sleep. And to think that I am a long sleeper........

Thanks GOD there was no disturbance in the second day. And you think that all the problems are solved? Nope, there was new problem though. There was a damage in my door key system. I couldn't open it at morning when I wanted to take my belt. I gave my card to the FO, and I left, escorting the city tour. When I came back, I found that the dinner plate was in front of my room. So, I assumed that everything is OK. Yeah, you think. I still couldn't open it!!!!

I went back to the FO and reported this. They didn't believe me, but when seeing the door, they started to get panicked. Nothing they can do to fix the condition. I had to wait at lobby for 30 minutes, with an exhausted body (remember, I got only 3 hours to sleep the previous nite!) and heavy eyes. I need rest badly to prepare for the welcoming dinner. And there was I, sitting at the lobby, waiting for the mechanics to fix my door.

Half an hour later, they came and lightly said to me, "Okay sir, your door can be opened now!" He left me and smiled. DAMMIT! Having been teaching English and manner in hotel, I know that they are supposed to at least say sorry or even gave some kind of compensation. But this?? Ouch! So much of a professionalism.

Avalokitesvara 1 - Unconditional Love

Avalokitesvara a.k.a. Guan Yin a.k.a. The Goddess of Mercy is one of the most famous deities under the heaven. Many have acknowledged her position and role, even dramatized her in countless literatures. And what does she do anyway to deserve such devotion from many beings?

As the name might suggest, Avalokitesvara is the goddess of mercy and compassion. She actually is one of the bodhisattva, a being close enough to perfection, a step away from reaching mokhsa. However, most bodhisattvas are delaying their perfection in order to help other creature to reach the same state with them. Even more, Avalokitesvara gave an unconditional love, which is giving away her state of purity to save other beings. This role places her as the highest bodhisattva, the saviour of the world from impurity and corruption.

She is willing to take any karmic consequences of her action in helping other. Her consideration of striking is based on compassion, not on the basis of profit for herself.

The greatest story of Guan Yin’s sacrifice came from one of its origin stories, Princess Miao Shan. It was told that she wanted to devote her life for esotheric journey, to leave earthly matters behind her. Her father, the emperor, was furious with her decision. In order to prevent her leaving the castle, he threw her to do dirty works in kitchen, thus degrading her status as royal princess. She successfully did those tasks and lived at a monastery as bikhuni. Feeling annoyed and degraded, the king sent his envoy to burn down the monastery, effectively killed hundreds bikhuni. Miao Shan herself was saved by the tiger and brought into the mountain.

During her stay at the mountain, she kept training and meditating. Away from the earthly matter, Miao Shan finally reached the enlightenment.

Meanwhile, the king was burnt by his fury. This in time turned into a mysterious disease. The only medicine involved eyes and hand of a living being, given voluntarily without any force. The royal family tried to find a donator for that, and they ended up with a female hermit in the mountain. She agreed to donate her eyes and hands. When the royal court saw her, they recognized her as Princess Miao Shan. The king and queen bowed down to ask for forgiveness from her, having exiled and tried to kill her out of rage. Miao Shan nodded gracefully and started to plug out her eyes and cut her hands. When her parents received it, she then transformed into thousand-handed Avalokitesvara for a moment. In the following moment, she turned back into a female hermit and died.

This action is interpreted by many people as Miao Shan’s effort to protect her father, to cast away all causes of pain, namely hatred, attachment to the worldly things, misunderstanding, and blinding rage. Her piety towards her parents was manifested infinitely, by accepting the seemingly impossible tasks, murdering effort, without any hard feeling. She even gave her life to save her father unconditionally. This in turn, made sure that her father repent and follows the path of mercy and compassion.

The imagery of Avalokitesvara with thousand hands and eyes given in Miao Shan’s story symbolized her all-knowing trait. This figurative is also related closely with his eleven heads. The heads and eyes mean her watching over us from many angles, aspects, and condition. Her hands indicate her willingness to give us a hand, to help us, to assist us in time of most unfortunate.

Avalokitesvara a.k.a. Guan Yin doesn’t limit herself only to Buddhist people. She is not only a deity for Buddhist. She in fact is the manifestation of pure compassion. She is the unconditional love, the universal mercy, reflected in many religions before us. This love is given name Avalokitesvara by Mahayana, manifested as Virgin Mary in Christianity, known as Sarasvati in Hinduism, taking form of Kerridwen in Druidism, and Mother Earth in many paganism beliefs.

This thus ends the first part of Avalokitesvara, Om Mani Padme Hum……..

Degrading Woman in the Eve of Independence Day

The eve of the Independence Day is always a torturing day, since we have some event called tirakatan. Ouch, how I really hate staying out late and watch nothing but speeches, the long ones. Besides, nothing interesting! Well, got to admit, I was excited to come to the event when I was younger (and how long is that? Thirteen years ago?)

I had to come to this year’s event though, since my brother had to play music for the national song. Meaning, I had to give him mental support and physical support for bringing the keyboard. Huh.

The venue (wow, can’t believe I use the word! Venue! Sounds so classy, while in fact it is only a simple gathering space) was set with carpet in front of the stage and plastic chairs in the back row. When I came, there were only few people there, so my family sat on the plastic chairs. The carpeted area was empty, since everybody chose to sit on the chairs, and the carpet would be used by the latecomers. We sat together with some neighbouring ladies and gentlemen.

And then came the master of ceremony, two young girls (well, put the emphasis on the term YOUNG!). They gave us the rundown of the event and started it. Still few people though, but we already started the show to give the opportunity to the children who performed. Surprisingly, when there were many people coming, the master of ceremony said clearly, “Can I have your attention? Would please all the ladies move and sit on the carpeted area? Since the plastic chairs are to be used by the gentlemen!”

Some ladies who already sat on the plastic chairs moved to the carpeted area, while some others were grumbling. They didn’t want to move, since they never thought about such kind of a rule.

Surprise, surprise! Even in the 63rd birthday of Indonesia, there are many discrimination happened. The regulation that makes female to sit in the carpeted area is surely degrading women and eliminates the fight of gender emancipation. Women are still regarded as the lesser being than men. So, what is the independence proclamation for?

However, some women placed themselves in that position. As a helpless creature, lesser being, and degraded thing. Wow! That kind of women always disgusts me. I mean, how can you accept the humiliation?? Can’t you even strive for equality? The women who sat on the chair and moved in the end were even better than these ladies. And who were these ladies? The noted one was the master of ceremony, since she is a woman herself, but surrendered to the hegemony of patriarch.

Probably, I held this view of equality between man and woman too firm. But I really want the equality. I even like to have an equal wife with me (yeah, like the one that Non said, a partnership, not a relationship!). Blame me, guys! But I hate having a lesser woman as my life partner. Gosh, wouldn’t it be annoying? Being a supreme ruler of a family, without anyone to give some consideration and only follow the decision? Eeeeew!!!!!

The conclusion? I left the event when the old spirit full guy talked about Indonesian history and mentioned that westerners (including AFRICA) wanted to colonialized Indonesia in the past. Africa? Yeah right, sir!

PS : Am I not nationalist enough???

Indonesian Dynasty Warriors???

KOEI games has been known throughout the world first by its franchised game, Romance of Three Kingdom (a.k.a. Sangokushi). This game, in turn, gave birth to many spin-offs, such as Dynasty Tactics, Dynasty Warriors, and Kessen. However, Dynasty Warriors is the biggest one, since it appealed to many gamers in the world. The popularity is high, and thus KOEI decided to make another game with similar engine, but still taking the story from a historical saga and wars. Hence, Samurai Warriors was brought into the world.

Unlike Dynasty Warriors which takes Three Kingdoms in the ancient china as the setting, Samurai Warriors takes the warring states era of ancient Japan, which resulted in the unification of Japan. Interestingly, those two games take the unification story as the background. But, the recent game made by KOEI, entitled Bladestorm, taking place in the 100 year war between English and France. It was not a unification war, though.

I was thinking, is there any kind of great war in Indonesia? As a old country with many different imperium, surely there were many. And why wouldn’t KOEI make one game based on the chronicles of Indonesian imperium?

Let’s list the great wars in Indonesia! (Who knows that KOEI, by any chance, read this posting and become interested in making one! Hehehehe! *wink! Wink! Wink!*)

First one, the greatest war ever in Indonesia, is the first unification of Malaya under Majapahit Kingdom. It took many years, covering many areas, and it was a unification chronicle. Not only Indonesia, Mahapatih Gadjah Mada was able to unify Singapore and Malaya too. The area at that time was even bigger than Indonesia nowadays. Need more? Since it was a story within a palace, there will be conflict, betrayal, marriage, and political maneuver too. Many generals were involved, many kings, and even greater number of Kingdoms.

Second one, Aceh war. Well, it happened for a long time too. Cut Nyak Dien, Cut Meutia, Panglima Polim, Teuku Umar, and many others. Traitors and great showdown. What else can you ask?

Third alternative is Diponegoro war. Well, it’s only 5 years though, but the scale of the war was enormous! He’s a great warriors as well.

Wow…. There are many alternatives to make. I know, it might just be an empty dream, but it feels so great when the chronicles of your nation is brought up into an international game though. Well, there might still be nationalism within me… Hehehehe!! Or is this the effect of the euphoric atmosphere near Independence Day??

Hydra in China? Oh, Please Rob Cohen!

Being labeled as a racist by Cha, I started to annoy her again about The Mummy 3. Well, it’s actually her fault for watching this movie about Chinese with me. She already knew and awared of the risk, that I will boast and blaberring about the Chinese. Yep, though you can’t see it physically, I’m a proud chinese guy!

It was not that grand. I mean, it’s just another holiday movie. I was not impressed by anything in it, except the daughter of Zi Yuan. Man, she’s so my type! Pure, obedient, yet strong, determining, and pure, cute, beautiful, persistent, and PURE! Wow! How many times did I use the word pure???

However, there’s something that disturb me, the imagery of the movie. The emperor was able to shapeshift into many kinds of mythological creature, and one of them was the dragon. Guess what kind of dragon he’s able to transform? It’s hydra! The legendary three-headed dragon which was beaten by Hercules! And to think that the setting was chinese..... How can he learned to transform into western dragon???If he’s that proud with his ancestral line, he should transform himself into chinese / eastern dragon

So, did the emperor meet Hercules during his conquest? I don’t know. Rob Cohen, please fix your knowledge!!!!! Chinese boy called to clarify the culture, hehehehehe!

I'm covering your face, indigenous WOMAN!

I just received a message this morning from Fe via Friendster. She told me that she didn't agree with my writing at GEMAS. For her, my writing was too radical and implied N.A.T.O (No Action, Talk Only). Well, in the extend of only criticizing Mudika Gamping without giving any solution. One of her line in the messaga was, “We don't need people who are only able to talk. We need people who are able to strike! You never participated in the activity, yet you spoke like that.”

Hey, wait young lady! ARE YOU COMPLETELY BLIND? CAN'T YOU EVEN READ THE ARTICLE?

Those two articles are not about critics towards mudika. I even positioned myself as the criticized mudika, who try to defend myself. In other words, those articles are basically a defense for mudika!

My first article was about the innovation in the mass, adjusted to the needs and nature of youngsters. I tried to convince those old geezers lingering at the church to accept the concept of rejuvenation and adjustment. IT WORKED, YOUNG LADY! Right after my article was published, those old geezers gave you guys the permission to conduct adjusted mass (a.k.a. EKM / Youth Eucharist). I didn't claim to be the only factor behind this, but at least, please OPEN YOUR F***ING EYES!!!!!!

My second article was about the call towards youth. Aren't you aware that those old geezers kept accusing us as the generation with no CALL at all? I argued in my writing that GOD called us in a different way, totally different from their generation. I was trying to say that our generation is still as good as theirs, or even BETTER. See, which part of my article is criticizing mudika? Which part of my story is criticizing your STUPID GOD-FORSAKEN-I-MEAN-ALMOST-FORGOTTEN-AND-LEFT-BEHIND ORGANIZATION??? TELL ME!! I WAS TRYING TO SAVE YOUR FACES FROM THE OLD GEEZERS.

I had to admit, I wrote the article in the same way I wrote my blog. Hot and straight! Probably those BRAINLESS PRICKS were not able to get my point.

Okay! Calm down, calm down! Take a deep breath! Inhale, exhale... Inhale slowly, exhale calmly........

Yup, I regained my awareness and consciousness back. At this state of mind, I suddenly remember what Mbak Enny said earlier. “Yes, we are trying to help marginalized people, indigenous people. However, do they think and regard themselves as the marginalized ones? Indigenous ones? Sometimes they think that they don't need any help then. Or worse, they know that they are ones, and they just enjoy their comfort zones, their status as the indigenous, as well as their privileges. Thus, they will blind themselves, reject every help offering! This is a dilemma!”

Hmmm, so, do I need to stay away from them? I care for them, and do what I can from my position. Remember, YOUNG LADY! I've been in that organization even when you were still in your f***ing crib!

Therefore, being treated like this, I still strongly believe that my taking leave from the church temporarily is not a bad thing. I could still talk to GOD through my personal prayer, through my daily activity and routines. Javanese people said “Gusti menika mboten sare!” (God never sleeps, dude!)

PS : Sorry I had to bring this personal matter to the public place, but I think YOU DESERVE TO BE MENTIONED HERE, FE!

Sitting in the Court of Buddha

My cousins happened to stay at my home yesterday (30/07). Since it was holiday, my mom asked us out for a trip. At first, she wanted to go to Tritis. FORTUNATELY, Ndy and Sien had been there before. (Yuck! Can you imagine me going on a pilgrim to a holy sanctuary??? I might not be able to make it back in a whole body! Hehehehe!). So, as the alternative, I asked them whether they’ve been to small temples around Yogya or not. Turned out, they never went there. Thus, it was decided that we would visit Candi Sambisari, Candi Kledulan, Candi Sari, and Candi Plaosan. Actually we also planned to go to Candi Ijo and Candi Kalasan, but those kiddos were tired already………

Not much to say about Candi Sambisari. It is very beautiful, safe, well organized, but very sterile. Umm, Sterile? Well, in some extends, it felt very ‘safe’ and doesn’t have that many ‘things’. Ehehehehe!

Candi Kledulan? Well, it was still excavated though. So, we only saw the excavation site. Good for the kiddos, though. They can see the process of excavation. Sien even said that the process of reviving the temple is just similar to the process of constructing humongous puzzle. Hehehehehe!

Candi Sari gave us creep. Well, not that it was totally creepy; it was very solemn and silent indeed. Cold and breezy indeed. However, I felt some slight of chill when looking at the left chamber. Something startled me, but I just didn’t know what it was yet. So, I decided to enter the right chamber first, along with everybody. It was very calm and soothing. I went to the left chamber together with my dad. It was darker than the other chamber though, and the atmosphere was so tight. I realized which part startled me there. It was the hole for the missing statue under the Kala Makara. Later outside, I heard Ndy said to us that she saw someone very big at that very spot, under the Kala Makara. She didn’t have the courage to re-enter the temple, so I did with mum. Yes, the guardian was there, the very old and powerful one from the ancient era of that temple’s glorious moment. He’s still there, standing firmly.

We continued to Candi Plaosan. Well, I didn’t have that much expectation though. As far as I knew, it was just another small temple in the rural area, just in the same level of Candi Sari, Sambisari, Kalasan, and such. However, a twist happened. It grew! The second temple was almost finished built. The foundation of the third main temple was found. Many candi perwara has been restored, and the air photo showed that the whole complex of this Candi Plaosan, along with its vihara like that in Mendut, will be bigger than Borobudur or even Angkor Wat. And the small temples around it were many and in a relatively small distance among another. So, if everything is restored, then this will be biggest ancient temple complex in the world so far. The grandeur of this complex is totally astonishing. I can even imagine how this complex used to be, the centre of the syncretism between Hinduism and Buddhism, the destination of pilgrimage, a hidden library of philosophy, and a great school of life, along with many scholars and monks.

Enough talking about the grandeur of the construction. As I entered the only opened main temple (sure, one is being reconstructed, and one is only the foundation yet!), I saw another three-chamber-temple. Nothing like Candi Sari though. Every chamber was so grand, with a couple of Buddha statues of different rudra. Those two statues each with different persona, anima and animus. One was big in built, and the other one is slimmer, just like a queen and a king, though all the statues were representing male Buddha Avalokitesvara. The atmosphere was very much like a palace.

Now, to the most interesting part of the story! The third main temple. As you know from my story, it was only a foundation with no wall. However, there were 21 statues of Buddha, each with different built. They were formed in some kind of court formation. Seven in front and five in each side. You could even say that they were having meeting, with Gaotama as the centre (the position of the leader). Too bad, the broken statue of Tara, the only female Buddha (yet also regarded as the avatar of Avalokitesvara according to the ancient syncretism belief) was not put there. The other statues were not complete either.

I walked around the statues, looking each one carefully. From the slimmest figure to the fattest one (Was the fat figure supposed to be the Laughing Buddha?), examined Gaotama in the centre (so far, this is the most complete statue, and the only figurative close to the original Buddha, while the others are the usual figurative of Javanese Buddha!).

Tempted by the unusual atmosphere, I tried to look for the centre of the circle. Quite easy, since there were some pointer there. Taking a straight line from Gaotama statue, I stood at that spot. IT WAS AMAZING! You will feel like you were standing in a royal hall surrounded by the court of Buddha. You could also feel the power and force. Ever saw Monkey King, in the scene of Heaven Court? That was like it!

Something inside me said that I should sit at that spot. I did sit! However, the voice said that I should sit in a meditation pose. I felt very comfortable, but my other side was frightened. I even felt like closing my eyes and started meditating. I know that I should do it, but at the same time, I was also afraid that I couldn’t get back to my body, to reality. Yet, I decided to close my eyes for some seconds. It felt very calm and comfy. I snapped my consciousness and promised to get back to the complex later on.

At home, I contemplated and rethink that experience. And I realized, the forces there are even older than those usually absorbed by other people seeking for power. Older than the forces in the imperial palace. You could even say that this is an ancient force in its purest form. Seeing from the origin of Plaosan, we may conclude that this force is the result of puja, a very constant and sincere puja.

Wew!

Dream Journal 2 - Cleaning Up Girl's Room

I had another dream again. This time, it was another task of cleaning up. And strangely, it happened also in the night. A dark and cloudy night, and I was standing in front of an old four leveled building. My intuition said that there was nobody within the structure, I meant, not a single living carbon-based creature.

I went there, only to see empty rooms everywhere. However, it felt like as though I have a guide inside my mind. The formless sound told me that the first floor was the living room and a kitchen. Totally neat, like it was left behind only an hour ago by the inhabitants. In the corner of the building, I saw something odd. There was an elevator, old one. Something unusually exist in the family home, eh?

By the elevator, I went to the second floor only to find the empty main bedroom. So silence and old, but warm by the light bulbs. Finding nothing here, I went up to the third floor. The sound told me that this was the daughter's room. Everything was similar to the other rooms, but the door to the daughter's room was emitting darkness. Being pushed by unknown force within me, I opened the door.

Guess what did I find there? A dark and messy room, with a little girl laying on the bed. From my first seeing her, I already knew that she's not human being. But seeing her struggling with pain, I couldn't help but helping her. So, I lifted her up from the bed, put her on the sofa in front of her room, and started to clean it.

It was so dark, full of trash, no fresh air, and so messed up! It would be a hardwork for me, had I not found the big mirror in the end of the room. Strange thing, the reflection in the mirror was a clean and neat room. When I touched that mirror, the room suddenly cleaned itself.

After the room had been cleaned, I went back to the girl. She looked much healthier than before. She looked at me and said, "Thanks for cleaning up my room. I know that I can count on you. But, I have another wish, would you like to help me again?" I nodded.

"My body was hidden somewhere under my bed. Please, find it. I cannot do that by myself. This is my last wish!" I nodded again. Taking the tools right beside her room, I moved the bed and started to break the floor. This time, I didn't find something to ease my work.

After some times, I found the skulls and all her bones. She cried happily. "Thanks! Thank you for finding my body! Now I can go back with my father and mother!" That girl hugged me once, and I can see her father and mother behind her, waited for her. She went to her parents and they all waved at me.

I woke up then, saw the clock. It was 2.58................