Dear Past

Dear past,

How are you? I hope you found your home already, no longer staying at my own room. I already got so many baggage here, and yours cannot possibly fit here. It was a hard goodbye several months ago. It was kinda sad to see you leave this small room o'mine. We've been together for 11 years, and you've been the one accompanied me during my state of solitude, just when I needed someone to resort to. You kept giving me this ray of hope, which later I found out to be nothing more than a mere illusion. But I still have to acknowledge for our time together.

No, we had no quarrel. I still remember the separation, when I decided that I need to go out of this small chamber within my head. That I need to free myself from my addiction to you. You gave me euphoria, pleasure, and delirium. But I couldn't have them all, only in my head. They were and never real. And we decided to live our own life separately.

However, recently two of my best friends came and said something about you. They reminded me of you, of that old story, of that 11-year-of-togetherness. Both of them posted something in the facebook and dedicated those writings to me. Reading those, I couldn't help but reminisce about you.
Interestingly, both posts are related to angel, the fallen angel and the wingless one. Ah, it brought back memories, memories of the most beautiful angel ever. The one that seized my heart back then. Well, one friend of mine once said that man can only "fall in love" once in his life. If that's true, I think I already spent that chance. Ah, I think you know this story. We used to talk about this thing for the whole night long. A beautiful tale of sincerity, of loving and letting go, of being overshadowed and useless await.

Ah, I think I unearthed those sweet stories already. Too sweet that it aches. It came back from the ghost of the remembrance into a silhouette of the mind. But ever since you left, I was able to see through the things clearly. She might be my angel, but she is not the only angel in this world. Probably my first angel, the fallen and wingless one, but I don't think she would be my last.

Well, I think I mumbled too much. I just hope for your safety, wherever you are. Don't worry, even though we don't live under the same roof again, I will still pay you a visit once or twice. We've been friends, haven't we? Why should I erase my memories of you?

Just be good in your new place, dear. Please, take care of my strong but innocent wingless fallen angel.

Regards,

Chrysogonus Siddha Malilang