Happy Marriage and Personal Independence

Weeeew, it has been so long since I am updating this blog. I've been so busy lately that I found it hard for me to find time to even breathe. Well, that might be a bit hyperbolic, but it was close to the reality. My mind was occupied with the workload. Not to mention that I also found a resting place, which I hope could last forever. Huehehehehe! Hey, my time should come sooner or later! Twenty two years of solitude has been hard enough, let alone one hundred years of solitude (trademark of Gabriel Garcia Marquez).

I happened to stumble into a short article in the newest Gaya Hidup Sehat, the tabloid discussing anything related to the healthy life style. And this article happened to relate to the marriage and relationship. The myths of Marriage.

One of the myths of marriage that is proven wrong came in the point that a couple should do everything together forever. Yet, it was proven that a happy marriage doesn't mean that shallow. Even a healthy marriage would maintain the individuality of the couple. Without the freedom to preserve the independence and individuality, the relationship would turn unhealthy and poisonous.

Well, what should I say? This is so my point of view during all this time. I believe that even marriage would never ever be able to fuse two different beings into one happily unified being. There are senses of togetherness indeed, but it doesn't mean that we have to always be together all the time. We should have time also for ourselves.

This is the view that I've been holding towards relationship, let alone marriage. In a relationship that I've always been wanting, I don't want my spouse to occupy my whole time and life. I still need time for myself, to be self-absorbed sometimes. I might love my darling (yikess! Darling? For real??) wholeheartedly, with all my life, but I still need to be myself.

Probably I've been seeing some examples on this kind of relationship. A friend of mine who happened to be in a relationship with his love lost his freedom and independence. He is never able to enjoy time with his friends without his girlfriend. He turned dull, uninteresting, and boring. Everything is always ruled by his girlfriend, meaning losing the authority. Yikes! Sorry sorry baby (literal translation of Amit-amit jabang bayi!), I despise that kind of relationship, since I value personal independence more than anything. I am me, and I define myself.