Chronicle #1 : SEDC

The prospect of continuing my study brings about its own consequence, I have to stop teaching for a year or more. It will be a very difficult thing to do, since I've been teaching for six years by now. Both good things and good things happened through the time being. I've encountered various people, various classes, in various condition. Thus, to honor those people as my stepping stone of learning, here I will be writing a chronicle for each and every class.

My very first chance of teaching started at August 2004, as a debate coach in SEDC, Smada English Debating Community. I was nobody back then. Although I studied at English Education, where I was supposed to be trained as a teacher, I didn't get any teaching theory or classes in my first year. So, I brought nothing, no underlying theories or principles. All I did was relying on my instinct and feeling, recalling my expectation of what a good teacher should be.

Well, it was never a formal class, since I was entrusted to coach a debating club in my former high school. There were no fixed syllabus, no fixed lesson plan, or even fixed rules. Nothing. Everything was left to me, I could do anything I wanted. But it was really valuable, for I learned how to teach by myself, I got many chances to develop my own teaching style. Moreover, I acquired myself brothers and sisters.

My relation with the trainee was different. In some ways, I never put myself higher than them. They were never considered as subordinate, just little brothers and sisters. They learned how to debate, how to solve the problem, and I shared the same things. We grew into a family, where one shared the problems to the others. Love and hate grew at the same time.

Training was never the only thing I did then. I learned how to cope with various problems. Motivating them, even stood for them in time of need. Ah, hell, I think I've written a lot about SEDC here in this blog. But the words will never be able to convey the real feeling dwelling within this soul. The warmth that those children emanated and resonated with one another.

I found myself one of my greatest brothers and friends in form of a problematic student. He was almost kicked out, and I learned through him how to stand for someone. How to encourage people, how to motivate people, as well as how to be there in the time of need.

The problem from the outside kept coming, and that was my test of endurance. To be honest, I was never strong enough to keep standing firm. No, I shed my tears million times, both in front of them or behind them. The thought of quitting constantly came into my mind, but the students in one way or another expressed that I was still needed. And at that time, I learned how the true connection of students – teacher can be really strong. Though the teacher might be smarter or older, he doesn't necessarily need to be strong all the time. The students can be your source of energy.

During the hard period of my life, when I felt alone and loveless, the existence and smile of those students were rejuvenating. They made me realize, that though I possess no girlfriend, I still have them, and I would never be alone with them. The constant message asking for advice, the complains, the smiles, and the sharings are proofs that I am still needed and loved. Some people might consider it hyperbolic, but without those students back then, I might have committed suicide. They were the lanterns enlighting my dark path, when I encountered my inner demon and felt that I would lose.

With all those things, I was never hesitated to stand up for them. Though not always frontal, I even confronted my own faculty for them. I confronted some teachers that I used to adore and admire. Why? For the sake of those children.

The salary might never be enough in number, hell, some people even said that the salary was not humane. But, hey, not all things in this world can be measured by money. There are more valuable things, such as the appreciation that you got, the smile on your students' lips, the strong bond you forged, and the sense of belonging. Those are the reason for me clinging to SEDC for 5 years.

5 years of happiness, if I may say. Those years weren't always filled with laughter and smiles. But even the cries and the tears are making it more worthed.

SEDC, my very first class, my very first students, but will never be my end. The 6 batches of SEDC debaters, whoever you are, you will always live in my memory and remembrance.