Damn, I've just published my poem here in this blog several days ago about a girl whom I've loved for years and today she contacted me. She said that she is going to get engaged next month. Next year, the marriage is taking place. She easily asked me to come to her banquet next year, or else I will miss the wedding of one of my best friends. She joked, "Don't break your heart!"

W-H-A-T?? How could I not break my heart? My heart is never completed because of her. Everytime I tried to look for another partner, I always return back to her shadow. Deep inside my heart, I always hope that she would be the one for me in the end, that my love is finally reciprocated. Such a drama queen, I know. But I kept that dream all the time. If you can get the meaning of the poem below this post, you know that her shadow chained me, hinder me to move on.

What do I feel now? I don't know. I just don't know. All these times, she never really knows how do I feel about her. Some friends know my feeling, they know that my feeling for her is genuine. Thus they tried to comfort me. Yes, this is supposed to be a happy news, but I just can't hold my tears back.