Effeminacy

Just today, I encountered an offensive comment as a reply for my tweet. It all started when I joked about applying for a job as fashion buyer. And no, I did not intend to create an irony out of the gender expectation of some jobs. It's more because of the fact that I am fashion blind.

I have too many encounters with various post-structuralist theories that they changed my perspective about gender. After all, gender is a mere social construction. Yet, similar to the case of religion –another social construction, people tend to be blinded by the skin and ignore the core problem. Commoners are trapped just in the construction, creating a false God out of the construction, consequently neglecting the true deity embodying the framework. Gee, I think I should stop talking about this religion mumbo-jumbo, or this writing will turn into yet another religious critique.

“I think you should try applying for the job, sir. It suits you, you’re a bit effeminate! :p”

The word ‘effeminate’ used to be a term I hated. It has haunted me for years, controlled my behavior, and hindered me from embracing the real value of life. Yes, the offensive word carrying social gender expectation. Being inside the structure and trapped in the traditional masculine hegemony has empowered that word, the word of torture. Spat that word near my ear, and you would boil my blood and stir my emotion.

‘Effeminate’ sure does exercise its power, attacking any man’s Achilles Heel. No sane man (within the cage of traditional gender binary – masculine hegemony) will be willing to hear that term directed to him.

“I am not effeminate! I am a man!” And to prove my manliness, I would beat people saying that word to me senseless. Well, it’s a bit hyperbolic, since I lacked of physical power to do so. But I always assured that the mocker would get something in return. (Gee, I might be the next host for the spirit of vengeance).

Once or twice, the words might be just a joke, non-funny one. But getting accustomed to hear the mockery, I grew more sensitive. Once, my students said that I was effeminate for trying to emulate British Accent. He attacked the accent (yes, for him American accent is manlier, while British accent with all the stresses implies effeminacy), yet I had to hold my anger. It happened in a classroom, my territory, the safe place.

So, what happened today? Did I explode and burst into anger?

No. I did not. Why bother with the old and rotting shell of masculine hegemony? Why bother with outdated gender construction? Gender and sexuality is constructed discursively. People have their own share in the construction process. But it depend on ourselves to accept or to rebel. It’s a ‘Gender Trouble’.

Instead, I pity him. Pity for he is still trapped in the old and archaic masculine hegemony. Pity for he can’t see beyond the structure.

Pity for his bigotry….

and blindness…..

…..

..

DRAG!