I've just finished my lunch, thus ending my first date this week. Yet, what I called dates aren't exactly a real date. Say for example, this date was with a woman who is seeing another people.
She met up with me a year ago, while she was seeing another guy also. Living together under certain circumstances made us grow closer and closer each day. To be honest, I have this feeling for her. But as a good friend, I don;t want to wreck her relationship. But God said otherwise, her relationship was ruined 11 months later. Well, I think it was my chance......
Again, my love life turned into hell for times... When she ended up her relationship with that guy, she was approaching this another guy. Well, as a friend, I gave her my support.
But in just two months, her relationship is on in the verge of destruction. She often called me late at night for about 1 - 1,5 hours, sharing her part of story in that relationship. Hey, she trusted me, she cried on my shoulder, and thus seeking comfort in my being. Not physically, though. This is just a metaphor. But this attitude is what I'm seeking, I'm striving. To give and share my comfort, to have someone crying on my shoulder, seeking console from me.
I am so moved and touched. It's like I want to be there for her, to console her anytime, as well as embrace her in my arms. I was needed, and that's what make me feel alive. Truly, I feel useless when I am not doing anything, when anyone just passed by, ignoring me.........
This feeling alive is so beautiful. But my beautiful dream ended in an instant when remembering her engaged in a certain relationship. And that my task is to give her my support, not wrecking her relationship. God, this is ironic!
2 comments:
Salam kenal Siddha :)
ini beneran ngk?
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