Well, this is not about anyone’s wedding. The title was taken from one of Julia Roberts’ movie, My Best Friend’s Wedding. A movie that I long wanted to see, and just recently afforded it. Yet, seeing the movie an hour ago, I sense something and again, got carried away with some deep thought.
I feel that I was in the same shoes with Julliane, seeing best friend who is engaged and ready to wed. And at that time, she realized that she is actually in love with the guy.
Well, in my case, there is no wedding yet, and I’m not falling into my guy friend. This is about one of my best friend, whom I have known for several years (Yeah, I won’t mention the number, so you wouldn’t guess it easily!). For these years, I thought we would stay as friends, best friend. But it turned out that, on the other hand, I want to be there for her, sharing and easing her burden, keep protecting her, as well as comforting and consoling her problem. All these years, she has been someone I can trust for most of my problem (yet, not all.. There’re some problems I keep for myself, though!).
I felt very jealous when she commited relationship with some guys (and beat me, I also felt very glad when she finally broke up). Well, probably it’s because most people also felt that she wouldn’t get along with those boys. I just didn’t realize it......
But, now that I realize it, will I take a step forward?
Well, I may be just a coward, who have no courage to step further, because the fright of ruined friendship, because she care of another guy, and because she couldn’t choose me in some circumstances......
So, watching the ending of the movie, in which Julliane let Michael married Kimmy, the same thing flashed over my mind too. That someday, I will have to attend her marriage, and seeing her in other guy’s embrace. That I cannot have her. And worse, that she will never know my true feeling towards her.
Hence, it will stay deep inside my soul, bearing regret, and thus rotting.
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