I'm covering your face, indigenous WOMAN!

I just received a message this morning from Fe via Friendster. She told me that she didn't agree with my writing at GEMAS. For her, my writing was too radical and implied N.A.T.O (No Action, Talk Only). Well, in the extend of only criticizing Mudika Gamping without giving any solution. One of her line in the messaga was, “We don't need people who are only able to talk. We need people who are able to strike! You never participated in the activity, yet you spoke like that.”

Hey, wait young lady! ARE YOU COMPLETELY BLIND? CAN'T YOU EVEN READ THE ARTICLE?

Those two articles are not about critics towards mudika. I even positioned myself as the criticized mudika, who try to defend myself. In other words, those articles are basically a defense for mudika!

My first article was about the innovation in the mass, adjusted to the needs and nature of youngsters. I tried to convince those old geezers lingering at the church to accept the concept of rejuvenation and adjustment. IT WORKED, YOUNG LADY! Right after my article was published, those old geezers gave you guys the permission to conduct adjusted mass (a.k.a. EKM / Youth Eucharist). I didn't claim to be the only factor behind this, but at least, please OPEN YOUR F***ING EYES!!!!!!

My second article was about the call towards youth. Aren't you aware that those old geezers kept accusing us as the generation with no CALL at all? I argued in my writing that GOD called us in a different way, totally different from their generation. I was trying to say that our generation is still as good as theirs, or even BETTER. See, which part of my article is criticizing mudika? Which part of my story is criticizing your STUPID GOD-FORSAKEN-I-MEAN-ALMOST-FORGOTTEN-AND-LEFT-BEHIND ORGANIZATION??? TELL ME!! I WAS TRYING TO SAVE YOUR FACES FROM THE OLD GEEZERS.

I had to admit, I wrote the article in the same way I wrote my blog. Hot and straight! Probably those BRAINLESS PRICKS were not able to get my point.

Okay! Calm down, calm down! Take a deep breath! Inhale, exhale... Inhale slowly, exhale calmly........

Yup, I regained my awareness and consciousness back. At this state of mind, I suddenly remember what Mbak Enny said earlier. “Yes, we are trying to help marginalized people, indigenous people. However, do they think and regard themselves as the marginalized ones? Indigenous ones? Sometimes they think that they don't need any help then. Or worse, they know that they are ones, and they just enjoy their comfort zones, their status as the indigenous, as well as their privileges. Thus, they will blind themselves, reject every help offering! This is a dilemma!”

Hmmm, so, do I need to stay away from them? I care for them, and do what I can from my position. Remember, YOUNG LADY! I've been in that organization even when you were still in your f***ing crib!

Therefore, being treated like this, I still strongly believe that my taking leave from the church temporarily is not a bad thing. I could still talk to GOD through my personal prayer, through my daily activity and routines. Javanese people said “Gusti menika mboten sare!” (God never sleeps, dude!)

PS : Sorry I had to bring this personal matter to the public place, but I think YOU DESERVE TO BE MENTIONED HERE, FE!