The Darkness Embrace

I went up to the balcony that night and looked up the sky. Cloudy. Not even a single spark of the stars, not even a single glance from the queen of the night. Sighing slowly, I gazed upon the dark horizon. The lights were emanating from the warm room that I left, but they were too hot for my heart. The great light casted away all the shadow in soul, revealing only an empty space. I couldn’t stand for that vast wasteland. That was the reason I refrained to the dark corner of the night, under the protection of goddess Nox, the ruler of the night.

Honestly, I did not have any idea about what to do. Lending my soul to the spirit of the night, hoping to fill the hole with a great deal of shadow. Dark Heart? I prefer having dark side rather to having nothing.

My hand spontaneously shuffled the Tarot cards. Carefully, I drew one from that big deck. Exactly what I had in mind, the 15th card, The Devil. It symbolized darkness, the negativity that conquered my whole mind. What should I say? My wholeness was engulfed by the wave of shadow, a great wave indeed.

The tears rolled upon my cheek, trying to wash away the emotion. But I felt nothing, not even a slight sadness, not even a slight mourn. Everything was plain indeed. Flat, as in the flatline for the beating of the heart.

I didn’t have love, though I strived for it. I didn’t even have the capability of loving. Damn! This room should be filled with love, with someone to hug and share. But not even a single strike of interest to any girl. And no, I am not interested in guy either. I was loveless, craving for emotion, scratching the ground with the hope of finding what I was looking there, miraculously find it. But my hand bled so hard, that I couldn’t continue.

I shouted, shouted so hard till my throat felt like being torn. Trying to voice my desperation to the gods above. But nothing happened, only darkness remained. The only sound to respond was the ticking clock on my wall. Tick! Tick! Tick! Drove me insane! But could an insane guy get more insane? Haha, a very ironic joke.
The blackness tempted me to embrace them. They transformed into a warm blanket, promising the comfort. And with my last breath, I inhale the shadow, surrendering myself unto it.