An (Ever) Offline Account

I logged into my Yahoo Messenger, and saw his icon. Offline, just as usual. But from this point on, I know that it will never appear online again. Damn, should I just delete him from my friends list? But then, it would be as if I denied and erased all the history behind. And for me, past is something that formed us the way we are now.

I met him at the online forum, tracked back into five years ago. Video games forum, to be exact. He was selling DivX Anime back then, and I was drawn by the offer. He stayed in Yogya, the same city in which I reside. It might be easier and faster rather than my usual DivX vendor who resided in Jakarta. Thus, I decided to contact him, to be able to get all those precious films, which I cancelled later on, seeing on the price. Uh, probably it was me being too stingy though.

He was glad to find some forum users who came from the same city with him. Back then, in 2004, not many people from Yogya went into the forum. When Pink made a special thread for users from Yogya, we grew closer. Not that close, though, but since the thread was first populated only by him, Pink, Ast, and me, what did you expect? We filled the thread, bumping it over and over again. Our effort was worthed, many people started coming to the thread. We grew in number.

It came from Pink’s idea to make the first gathering. Too bad, only three people came then. Me, Pink, and him. Seeing him for the first time, we felt very shocked. He was more than six years older than us. Yet, when we played game in Fantasia, I felt this inferiority of being childish. He was so calm and looked mature. Yet, as a fellow Chinesemen (Okay, I’m being a racist bastard again!), he managed to see beneath my dark-arabic-like skin and face. He suspected me being a Chinese.

My first encounter with Yahoo Messenger led me to add him as my online friend. We chatted, and surprisingly, we found many interesting facts. We studied in the same junior high school, shared the same hatred and love towards several teachers there. And he actually knew my family! Yep, his father and uncle were actually my grandfather’s tennis and basketball mates. He used to live near my previous home. And, we share the same surname!
Furthermore, he even told me his plan to get married, the process of getting into the relationship, and the proposal. How the condition was reversed, in which the girl proposed him, upset of the slow pace. Hehehe! I also managed to find out that he used to have a kidney operation two years prior. It led him being unable to access the excessive workload. But he was in the recovery process.

Just few days ago, Ast posted in forum, asked us whether we knew the bad news from him. People started wondering, what kind of bad news was it. It turned out to be the worst news.

Just when Ast wanted to buy some papers from his store, he called him. Long tone, before suddenly a woman picked up the phone. She told him that Agus passed away that morning. Kidney failure. Very shocking.

So, I think I will just save your ID in my messenger list. At least, while I know that it will never appear online again, it will serve as a reminder of you. Agus Julianto, or better known as Agus08221 in VGI forum. So long my friend! Rest in Peace!

PS : But what should I do with your number in my phonebook???