A question that I hate the most recently is, "When are you going back, sir?"

I wish I can answer that question by saying, "I'm not going back!" But I can't do that just yet. I have yet to find a job abroad, I have yet to set my life here. And at this point, I despise my nationality that much. Being an Indonesian means being limitted by visa to go everywhere, to work everywhere.

Now that I stay in UK, I saw people from Europe travelling easily across countries. Hell, they can even work in any EU country easily. Yet, I need to go through a long and demanding admnistrative process for my visa. Moreover, it pose me difficulty in finding a job. DAMN!

But comes another question. Why do I insist on staying overseas? Isn't Indonesia good enough for me to work in? Well, economically yes. There are many job opportunities there compare to this country. But that means I have to go back home.

So many reasons, so many untold stories, so many ballads and verses of staying away from home. Yet, I found a big reason. I need to save my brother. I want to bring him away from home......

Yes, we had lots of bro-fight. We quarelled more than you could imagine. Yet, he can be really sweet. By the time I feel like losing hope here, he was the first person telling me that I can do it. "I believe you can do it, because it's you!"

Sometimes when he told me his suffering, I am more and more motivated to take him away. But I have to find a way first to settle here, to prepare what I need to have.

I'm desperate to help him, yet I haven't been able to do anything.....