Relationship vs Partnership? Single is better........

Non once said to me, “I can’t imagine you being in a relationship!”

Wow, I shocked at that time. Protesting, I said, “Meaning? I will be single for the rest of my life?”

“Nope. I mean, I just can’t imagine you being in a relationship. You’re not the kind of guy who will be in a relationship. For me, you are meant for a partnership!”

Again, I protested. “Partnership as in gay?”

She shook her head. Grinning maliciously, she continued, “Well, if you chose it, you can do it. But by mentioning partnership, I refer to any kind. You want someone equal, and that will not happen in a relationship. It can be reached through partnership instead. That’s what I mean!”

I kept protesting at the time. All this time, I kept giving her proof that I can also be in a relationship. But my recent ‘crush story’ (Oi, emphasis that! Crush story, not a love story!) proved otherwise. I realized that yeah, I prefer equal relation rather than one where I should take care of the other all the time.

Yep, the recent one gave me that. I felt the euphoric work of this ‘crush’ at first. But as time goes by, I started to doubt my own feeling. There was some fright that I will not be as free as I used to be, that I will not have the time for myself. Well, seeing from the fact that I had a crush on someone younger than me, mean I had to deal with bunch of messages everyday, monitoring and checking. Wow wow wow, that is so not me, eh? That moment has been passed eon ago for me…….. (Yeah, like you’re old already?) I still have my own world outside that. Just like Kiky said, “Having a girlfriend is a part of your world, but you still have other parts of your own world!”

At that moment, when I chatted with Non, she reminded me again of her words. And I realized that it is true (for now, eh?). I really want someone equal in a relationship. But due to the fact that most girls saw man as someone above them, this is something very difficult. “You should find an older woman, dude!” said her. “That way, you won’t need to ‘baby sit’ her all the time!”

“Or wait,” said Cha. “Probably the one is still a girl, not yet a woman. You have to wait her blossoming into a lady for you! Because you want a mature relationship. This is quite difficult with all these girls around you!”

The thing is I finally realized my need to be free. My need to fool around with myself with no burden.. At least for now…….

PS : This is the clarification of the confusion in the July 5’s posting!